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May. 26th, 2009

warriors 6

Welcome to Warriors 6!

Welcome to Warriors 6 at last. I've had a few technical issues recently but the zine is finally all uploaded and ready to read. I'm really excited and proud to present such a great group of stories and I hope you enjoy them. Please make sure to comment so the authors and artists will know you noticed their hard work.

Cover )

Table of Contents )
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Apr. 20th, 2009

warriors 6

the zine is ready!

Warriors 6 is finally completed. It will be simultaneously available online and in print.

Contents include:

"Love Means Never Having to Say..." by Amanda Bradley (Blair's pov in the awkward period after he's offered the badge)
"End Zone" by Caro Dee (inspired by artwork by LA Adolf)
"Collateral Damage" by Elaine (an alternate version of what happened in Sentinel, Too, Part 2)
"I Don't Know How to Do That" by Goddess Michelle (Blair reacts to Incacha passing on the way of the Shaman)
"Rules of Endearment" by PsychGirl (Blair contemplates his relationship with Jim over the years as he hopes to take the next step)
"Jim's Fantasy" by April Valentine (inspired by artwork by LA Adolf)

Two stories based on the color cover by Lorraine Brevig:
"The Smuggler and the Scholar" by Jane Davitt
"Scarlett" by KarieAuthoress

Stunning color artwork by Midnight Panther depicting Blair and Jim in a Mayan setting.

Plus "World Without End," part 2 of "Last Dance" by April Valentine

The print version of the zine has hand created art pieces inside, sort of scrapbook/art trading card type items and no two copies will be exactly alike due to the hand made nature of these pieces.

I am currently working on getting the stories uploaded to the LJ and it should be completely up and ready to be viewed in a day or two.

The final cost of the zine in print will be $20 including postage in the U.S. I will post the amount of postage for other countries tomorrow.

Send me a private message and I will let you know how to forward me the money for the print zine.

Oct. 1st, 2008

wolfpanther

Update on publication

Hello friends,,

After producing zines for nearly 3 decades, I don't think I've ever had to postpone a zine more than once. Today, however, I have finally come to the conclusion that I will not be able to bring the completed Warriors 6 to EasternMediaCon2.

As some of you already know, one of my oldest and dearest friends, [info]njpax passed away last week after a long illness. Despite her being sick, we didn't know she was failing as quickly as she was so I was really unprepared for her seemingly sudden death. Nancy, was one of my oldest fan friends, and she and her late sister published my first story ever in their Trek zine. Though I have tried to complete Warriors 6 ever since hearing the news, I just haven't been able to manage it. I've been working on it all along, but I just am not able to finish it properly, get it all printed and bound in time for the con.

I've decided to just finish it up after the con and mail it out to those who have pre-ordered and post it at the same time, as I've planned to all along.

I've got a great line up of stories and I'd hate to make the wonderful authors wait much longer. So I'll keep everyone aware of the timeframe and get the zine out in print and online just as soon as I can. I think I'll begin to feel better once the memorial service for Nancy takes place the week after the convention.

Here is a list of the authors and artists who have contributed their talents to the zine:

AUTHORS

Jane Davitt
PsychGirl
Karieauthoress
Elaine
CaroDee
GoddessMichelle
Amanda Bradley
April Valentine

ARTISTS

Lorraine Brevig
LA Adolf
Midnight Panther

The zine will be approximately 150 pages and will include lovely color artwork, color title illustrations and altered art embellishments.

The cost will be about $20 before postage. I do try to keep zine costs down, but with the extra special artwork and embellishments, I have to calculate that in the price. The reason I'm not doing this as a "bare bones" type of publication is so that those who enjoy print zines will get something a bit extra for their money. If you would like to reserve a copy, please write to me at AprilValen@aol.com or leave a message here and I will inform you of the postage to your area of the globe. Again, it will be a limited edition publication so if you want a copy, please let me know as soon as possible.
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Aug. 13th, 2008

wolfpanther

List of stories...

Here's a partial list of the stories that will be included in the zine so far:

The Smuggler and the Scholar by Jane Davitt

Rules of Endearment by PsychGirl

Scarlett by Karieauthoress

Love Means Never Having to Say by Amanda Bradley

World Without Love, the sequel to Last Dance, by April Valentine

As noted previously, the color cover is by Lorraine Brevig and there will be interior art by LAAdolf.

I'm looking for interpretations of some of LAAdolf's art, btw, so write me at AprilValen@aol.com if you're interested in trying one of those.

I still have room for submissions as well, especially of shorter length items like drabbles or ficlets, but will consider a long story as well if there's enough time.

The print edition of the zine is going to be something unique in print zines -- I'm going to make it an art piece that will be very special. So it's going to be a limited edition. To reserve a copy, if you don't have a story or art in the zine (hint, hint... cotnributors get a free copy!) email me at the address above or contact me here. I'll have price information up on the LJ by the middle of September but I need an idea now of how many folks might want to get a copy.
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Jul. 31st, 2008

wolfpanther

Story from Warriors 5

I was finally able to upload the major story from Warriors 5, "Last Dance" to the new TS archive, Artifact Storage Room 3:

http://asr3.slashzone.org/archive/viewstory.php?sid=457

The sequel to it, which is the second novel in what is going to be an ongoing series, will appear in Warriors 6 in October.

Also, I still have some room in Warriors 6 -- since I postponed it I have time to get a few more submissions and get them edited in time for the early October publication date, so if you have something to submit, feel free to contact me and do so!

Jul. 7th, 2008

wolfpanther

Update

Hello out there!

Well, although my plans were to have Warriors 6 out for MediaWestCon, they went awry. I wasn't able to make it to the con for the first time in many, many years. What a dissapointment! Then, I had a computer/telephone/internet problem and didn't get to post online for several weeks. I was going through total withdrawal!

Anyway, I have wonderful stories for the zine and will be publishing it for EasternMediaCon at the beginning of October. I'll post about pre-orders for those who want hard copies as soon as I know the price. Otherwise, watch this space for an outstanding issue of Warriors!

Mar. 14th, 2008

wolfpanther

Warriors 6 Cover!

I've been watting to confirm the artist for the cover of Warriors 6 -- it will be done by the wonderful Lorraine Brevig!  We have discussed this for some time and I'm very excited about it.

I usually have some type of "AU" style cover for Warriors since I like to see Jim and Blair portrayed as other types of 'warriors' on the covers. So Lorraine is doing them as a ship's captain and his mate, in pirate-style garb, on an old sailing ship!

I would love it if there was a story or short piece to go with the cover -- so I'm throwing out the cover idea as a "prompt" for fic. Any length, any style, any pov -- though it must be slash of course -- describe how you think Jim Ellison and Blair Sandburg (who will be standing in front of Jim in the illo) might be in this setting.

I will accept the best 3 submissions for publication in the zine and each of those contributors will receive a copy of the print version of the zine.

I will also be offering a couple of other story prompt ideas as challenges to encourage contributions to the zine.

Deadline for contributions is April 15 as the zine will be out for MediaWestCon over Memorial Day weekend (May 30th).

Feb. 6th, 2008

wolfpanther

So I had this idea today...

when I was thinking about doing Warriors 6 for MediaWest. I have been thinking of posting the zine online at the same time as it premiers in zine form and suddenly, it occurred to me that putting it on LJ would be a great idea. It will be easy for readers to comment on stories as they read them. It will be easy to navigate between stories, just like flipping through a paper zine. And I can update folks on the stories that I am planning on having in the zine.

I can even request stories through this LJ! The more I think of it, the more I'm liking the idea. Any comments or input will be gratefully accepted.

I've been doing zines the old fashioned way for years but am trying more and more to participate in online fandom and on LJ. Go look at my LJ, [info]aprilvalentine    for more about me and a WIP I'm currently working on.

Of course, since this is a slash zine, I'm going to have to restrict the content when I get some, but for now, it's just good old regular content. Also, I'm planning on opting out of the explor area when the zine is here -- guess that's fairly obvious.

I am currently seeking stories for the zine. The deadline is April 15, 2008. Stories must be J/B slash, either first time or on-going relationship. I like trying to see something of the Sentinel/Guide relationship in the story, either as the main theme or some aspect of the story. They can be Sentinel and Shaman of the Great City or just functioning as a sentinel with his guide helping him. Please email submissions to me in either rich text format or text format to AprilValen@aol.com. Include the title of the story and author's name in the body of the story itself so I don't lose the author's name if I separate the story from the email in which it arrived. Contributors will receive a print copy of the zine along with being published here.

I'm also looking for artwork to illustrate stories and also to illustrate the theme of "Warriors" either based on the ep or the Sentinel/Guide relationship. Short stories, drabbles, poetry and any creative writings about J/B are welcome as well.

So rev up those creative talents, friends. Warriors 6 needs you!

May. 26th, 2007

warriors 6

Artwork by Midnight Panther

Mayan Sentinel Warrior

Mayan Sentinel


Mayan Shaman Blair

Mayan Shaman


Return to Table of Contents
warriors 6

Artwork -- Jim's Fantasy

artwork under the cut is not work-safe (because it depicts gorgeous male nudity) )
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May. 21st, 2007

warriors 6

World Without Love, part 10

Continued from Part 9

"Jim," Blair managed to say, his breath coming in gasps as the pain began to recede. Sweat was dripping into his eyes and he knew he smelled of fear and urine. He had no time to be embarrassed in front of his mother, however. They were still moving at a fast pace through the corridors of the building, pulled by a Jim Ellison who seemed nearly insensible.

"What was that?" Naomi, still tied to the chair, gasped out.

"They've got a... security belt... on me," Blair managed to answer. "I'll be all right in a few minutes."

For once, Naomi seemed to think better of continuing to ask questions of her son.

"Jim, stop a second. I can't hang on to the chair!" Blair hissed, hoping to get through to the sentinel. Jim's face was nearly white with what Sandburg guessed must be shock. He realized that Yeager had probably drugged Jim before bringing in Naomi and telling him to kill her. It was a miracle that Jim had been able to respond at all to Blair but he was into protective overdrive now, pulling them through the halls of the huge building, the gun still ready to fire at anyone who tried stopping them.

Blair couldn't take either hand off the Naomi's chair -- he was still too weak to trust his grip to only one, but he couldn't seem to get through to Jim verbally. So he did the only other thing he could think of: he bit Jim's arm, just above his wrist where he was holding Blair. Not hard enough to hurt him; Blair didn't want to injure him and even if he had, he didn't have the strength yet.

Still, it got Jim's attention. He stopped his forward progress, panting like a race horse.

"Jim, we need to stop. I want to get Naomi out of that chair," Blair gasped, managing to regain his feet.

Jim didn't answer. He just stood staring down at Blair as if he'd never seen either him or Naomi in his life.

Blair reached into the pocket on his scrub shirt. Inside there was a crude knife he'd made, just a toothbrush handle he'd filed into a point. He'd used it already to stab Patrick Flynn and take his gun and was glad he'd thought to retain it even though the machine pistol made a better weapon. He hoped it would be sharp enough to cut through the duct tape holding his mom to the chair.

He tried to work quickly, knowing their captors wouldn't simply stand aside and allow them to leave. Jim kept watch, breathing shallowly and not talking, his eyes glittering like a jungle cat's and just as accurate.

Finally, after a frantic effort with his shaky hands, Naomi was free. She stood and shoved the chair aside, putting an arm around her son's waist.

"Do you know the way out of here?" she asked. "I've never been in this building before."

"Where have they been keeping you?" Blair asked.

"Another building, ten minutes from here. I wasn't even sure you were here," she added, taking a moment to smooth back Blair's hair.

"I didn't know you were here at all. I thought they left you in Cascade. Well, hoped they had," Blair amended his statement. "I was worried they'd not let you go."

"They shot me," Naomi told him bluntly. "I thought I was going to die. I passed out and when I woke up, I was here. Well, in the other building, and that doctor -- Kortran? Do you know who he is? He was taking care of me."

"I know him. He's the one who did tests on Jim and concocted the drugs they've been using on him."

"Sweetie," Naomi said, looking past him toward the sentinel, "he looks bad. What kind of drugs have they been giving him?"

Blair shook his head. "I'm not sure. But we can't talk. We have to move." He touched Jim's shoulder.

Ellison flinched. He looked toward Blair but there was no recognition in his gaze.

"Do you hear them coming for us, Jim?" Blair asked, keeping his voice soft and guide-like.

Jim cocked his head and listened. He nodded back the way they had come.

"Let's go then. We don't have much time."

Jim once again grasped Blair around the waist, half carrying him as he started down the corridor, walking sideways to make sure they were not being approached from either direction. Naomi walked on her own behind them. Jim kept the Glock up, and Blair felt certain anyone trying to stop them would be shot.

"We need to find a car or truck or something," he wheezed, still breathing with difficulty as a result of the shock he'd sustained. "Did you see anything when they brought you in this building?"

"I noticed a bunch of SUVs when they walked me over here," Naomi answered. "I think it was a back entrance." She stopped a moment, looking around as if trying to get her bearings. "I think they brought me down this corridor."

Blair knew a little about the layout of the building and figured he'd been let out the same entrance they'd brought Naomi in through when he'd been allowed outside for his walk with Jim last week.

They'd come to a place where several corridors converged. "Wait, Jim," Blair said, squeezing his arm hard.

Panting, Jim stopped. Blair could tell all his senses were on full alert. He aimed the Glock back the way they had come.

Blair checked the corridors going both to their left and right. He chose the left, praying he remembered correctly. "This way. It shouldn't be too far."

They started out again. A door down the hall opened and three guards burst toward them.

Jim fired the Glock, bringing all three down. An alarm began to sound, ringing in Blair's ears so loudly he couldn't imagine what it was doing to Jim.

Ellison blanched even paler and began shaking but didn't stop moving. His eyes reflected the pain he felt from the loud, clanging alarm but it didn't deter his progress.

They stepped over the fallen guards and suddenly were in front of the exit doors.

"Thank God!" Naomi breathed.

Jim shoved both Naomi and Blair against the wall, then wrenched the door open, peering out cautiously.

Blair heard the Glock fire again -- and bodies falling beyond the door.

The next sound to catch his attention was that of running booted feet. Yeager and a group of guards had arrived out of nowhere. Jim turned, trying to fire but Naomi was in the way.

Yeager made a grab for Naomi but Blair stabbed at him with his shiv. Yeager yelped and jump back, but he kept hold of Naomi's wrist.

The door was yanked from Jim's grasp by Sean O'Reilly who must have gone outside earlier. Jim's arm was around his neck in an instant, the Glock pointed at his skull.

Blair turned in time to see Yeager holding a gun to his mother's head.

"No!" he shouted.

"What, Mr. Sandburg? You want your mother to live?" Yeager asked in his obsequious voice.

"Of course I want her to live." Blair glanced from his mother to where Jim held O'Reilly. "We can make a trade. My mom for O'Reilly. How about it?"

"No, your mother for Ellison," Yeager countered.

"I don't think so," Blair said. "Jim has a gun on your man now."

"Shoot the bastard," Sean shouted, struggling in Jim's grasp.

"If you shoot O'Reilly, Detective Ellison," Yeager said, his voice steady and authoritative, "Ms. Sandburg will have to be shot as well."

Blair kept his eyes on Jim. There was a bead of sweat trickling down from the man's temple. He hadn't said a word since Blair had first entered the lab and he couldn't make a guess as to what his mental state might be. The drug he'd been given made him susceptible to Yeager's orders, but Blair felt his own voice held more sway.

"I'm your guide, Jim," he said softly, forcing his voice to remain calm and steady, the tone Jim always responded to. "Listen to my voice. Let Sean go. I don't want them to kill my mother."

"Shoot Ms. Sandburg," Yeager spoke up again.

Jim's eyes went to her; the line of his mouth thinned.

"You remember what I told you. She killed innocent people, ruined innocent lives. She's going to get Blair killed now too. You can end her life and end all your pain now."

Jim's hand on the weapon began to shake. Blair whispered to him, trying to keep him focused. "He's not your guide, Jim. I am. Listen only to my voice." He was horrified by the situation, he and Yeager using Jim like a pawn, each trying to make him do their bidding. But Jim had to know that Blair was his true guide and would never use him the way Yeager wanted to. Didn't he?

"I'll stay," Naomi spoke up suddenly. "Mr. Yeager, I'll stay here freely. Just let my son and Jim go."

"What would I want with you, my dear?" Yeager asked, his voice mocking.

"I'll be your insurance policy," she said. "As long as you have me, they will leave you alone. They won't kill you. They'll leave peacefully. Won't you, Blair?" Her voice rose on the question, pleadingly.

"Mom, I can't leave you here."

"Let them go, Alex," Sean urged. "The heist is off anyway. We don't have the manpower. It'll take us months to get ready to do another job like that one."

"Look at Jim," Blair said to Yeager. "In the shape he's in now, it'll take weeks to get him back into any kind of condition to work for you anyway. He might not even be of any use to you now." He looked at Jim and hoped what he was saying was only partly true. "Your drug could have taken him so far off line his senses will be useless, maybe for good. And if you really had control of him, my mother would be dead already."

"You can find him, or another one, in a couple of months," Sean added.

"By that time, my sentinel will be far, far away," Yeager responded, faking a sad face. Yet he appeared to think over the proposal.

"You can find him again," Sean said. "You know you can."

O'Reilly's tone made Blair suspicious, but he still hoped they could talk their way out of there.

Finally, Yeager nodded. "Very well. We'll make a game of it, gentlemen. I caught a sentinel once. I can catch him again. If you leave Ms. Sandburg in our custody, you can go." For a man giving up the thing he'd spent so much time and effort into acquiring, he didn't seem all that upset, Blair thought. "We'll give you a little time. But remember, you can run, but you can't hide from me. Your mother's life is in your hands. Contact the authorites, or any of your friends back in Cascade, and she dies."

That idea appalled Blair but he didn't know what else to do or say.

"Mom?"

"It's all right, honey. Take Jim and go while you can." Naomi looked so brave urging him to leave that Blair wanted to sob. All these months she'd been right here, so close, and he hadn't even known it. Now he couldn't even help her or give her a hug. Just like when they'd first been taken prisoner.

Suddenly, Jim's eyes rolled back in their sockets and he collapsed, letting O'Reilly go. Blair bent over Jim, reaching for the gun that had fallen at the sentinel's side.

He looked up at Yeager, more terrified than before. He felt Jim's throat for a pulse and was only slightly relieved to find beating rapidly.

"Is he alive?" Yeager asked, sounding almost bored.

"Yes, no thanks to you," Blair shot back.

"Do you want Doctor Kortran to see him?"

Blair turned on the group, holding the Glock ready. "If any of you bastards come near us, I'll kill you all." He met his mother's eyes, trying to apologize without words. "Toss me some keys to one of those SUVs," he demanded.

Sean O'Reilly pulled a set out of his pocket and threw them over. Blair picked them up and adjusted his grip on the gun so that he could get hold of Jim.

"It's the third one from the right," O'Reilly informed him. He took a step forward. "You need a hand?"

"Don't you touch him!" Blair grated. Jim was beginning to stir. With soft words, he got the dazed man up, dragging one of Jim's arms across his shoulders so he could support him.

"Remember," Yeager said, "Contact no one you know. And no authorities. If you do that, your mother will be safe."

Blair didn't like those terms. "Agreed," he said finally, however. He couldn't leave Jim in Yeager's hands any longer. The bargain was their only chance for freedom.

Still using the big Glock to cover their retreat, he backed out the door and staggered under Jim's weight to the SUV.

Unlocking the passenger door, Blair managed to get Jim inside. Then he ran around to the driver's side and climbed in. His hands were shaking so much he could hardly get the key in the ignition but he finally managed it. The sound of the engine catching was the sweetest sound he'd ever heard.

With the gun still in his hand, he got the vehicle into reverse and backed out of the parking space, then turned and gunned the engine.

He and Jim were free at last.

No one tried to stop them as they made their way to the end of the long driveway. The gates to the compound were closed but Blair didn't stop. They banged open when he hit them, making a satisfying sound as they were torn off their hinges.

"Did you see that, Jim?" he asked, glancing toward his companion.

Jim was passed out again, his head lolling against the head rest, his eyes shut.

Maybe that was best, Blair thought. He'd get them somewhere safe and then take stock of Jim's condition. He reached over and gently removed the electrodes from his forehead and upper chest, tossing them into the back seat. It was all he could do for him at the moment. Blair wasn't sure his mother was safe, but he didn't plan on testing Yeager by trying to contact Simon or anyone else in Cascade. At least, not yet.

He drove along a darkened road, not too surprised to find they were in a desolated area. He had no clue where they were, but it didn't matter as long as they were going away from Alex Yeager.

Blair drove for a couple of hours, seeing no sign of civilization. Finally, exhausted, he pulled off the road and cut the engine. Maybe he should try to get some sleep. He turned the SUV on again and backed around so that it's rear end was up against a line of trees and the front end was facing north.

He looked over at Jim. The sentinel's eyes were closed now and when Blair checked his pulse, it was steady. Jim appeared to be sleeping now. He'd let him rest for awhile, then try to wake him up and start to get some idea of his condition. Maybe if the drugs could work their way out of his system...

Suddenly, Blair noticed strange lights along the horizon. They seemed to shimmer and he realized they were growing, rising.

All at once, the clouds obscuring the night sky parted. Blair gasped. Green and purple and pink lights wavered in the sky. The Aurora Borealis.

"The Northern Lights," he whispered. "That's about as good a landmark as any. At least we can figure out where we are." He turned to Jim, who was missing the display. His face looked peaceful, at least.

Blair picked up his hand and brought it to his mouth to kiss. He kept his eyes on the shimmering lights in the sky, pinning his hopes on their beauty.

"We're going to make it, Jim," he promised.

Northern Lights




"Please, lock me away. And don't allow the day,
Here inside, where I hide, with my loneliness.
I don't care what they say,
I won't stay in a world without love."
~ Peter and Gordon



*****



(There will be a third story in the series. It should be ready for publication before the end of 2009.)


Return to Table of Contents
warriors 6

World Without Love, part 9

Continued from Part 8


Alex Yeager entered the room where his prize slept, the drugs in his system keeping him unconscious and unaware of the plans being made for the heist in which he would participate. Yeager stood over the narrow bed just looking at Ellison for a moment, the dim overhead light making the angular face look haggard. Ellison was leaner than when they had first taken him, his muscles were taut and firm, he was strong and hardened by the military style training that Sean O'Reilly had put him through when he wasn't being drilled in the use of his senses. He was like a fine piece of machinery, honed to detect the slightest differences of smell, temperature, weight, air movement and he could see farther than even Yeager had imagined he would be able to.

But there was one thing Yeager needed to test before the heist in Vancouver. Ellison could sense whatever he was ordered to, yes. However, they were going to pose as international terrorists when they went in to take over the newly completed high rise building and to be convincing, Yeager knew that a hostage or two might have to be sacrificed. Would Ellison follow orders to kill for him?

The man had been in the Army Rangers and participated in covert operations. His police record indicated that he had killed in the line of duty there as well. Yet that did not assure his compliance for Yeager.

He readied the injection that would bring his sentinel awake and ready to perform for him. It was a compound of Kortran's, one of the experimental drugs they had been using on Ellison for months to confuse his mind and make him susceptible to following orders without question, but in a higher dose. Yeager wasn't taking any chances. The drug had hallucinogenic properties and also contained anti-psychotic pharmaceuticals. When given to a sane individual, or -- Yeager corrected himself -- a relatively sane individual, it pushed them over the edge into irrationality. Over the months of testing and experiments, it had proved to make Ellison very compliant with Yeager's and O'Reilly's orders. He tied a tourniquet around Ellison's biceps, swabbed the inside of his elbow with an alcohol prep and pushed the needle home.

It would take a few moments for Ellison to wake up. In the meantime, Yeager went to the adjoining room and unlocked the door where his prisoner had been confined.

Naomi Sandburg had been brought to the compound and had been kept in one of the outbuildings for the last year, a building that had been shielded to prevent Ellison sensing her presence. Flynn had been her main caretaker for that time and he had brought her to the testing chamber earlier in the day. Now she was bound and gagged, looking terrified at the sight of Yeager.

"Don't worry, dear. You'll be quite all right," Yeager crooned to her.

Her eyes were as full of fight as they had been that day in Ellison's loft. She was trying to talk despite the sturdy black tape over her mouth. To Yeager, it sounded like she was asking for her son. Flynn had told him she'd never given up asking where her boy was.

He pushed the wheeled chair in which she was tied out into the main room. Ellison was just beginning to stir on the table. Yeager pulled the Walther P99 from his pocket, checked the clip and cocked the gun. He had loaded the gun with a single bullet.

A muffled cry of recognition came from the woman as she recognized Ellison.

Ellison was rubbing his face, no doubt trying to rid himself of the cobwebs that obscured his mind and vision from the sedatives. He hadn't even noticed her yet.

Yeager moved to help his prisoner sit up. "This woman is your enemy, Detective. She has killed her own children. She wants to kill you. You need to take this gun and shoot her, now."

Standing up, Ellison took the weapon, looking at it curiously, as though he had never held a gun.

"You know what to do," Yeager whispered. "You've been preparing for this moment. You will do as I order."

Ellison closed his hand around the weapon, hefting it, seeming to get accustomed to its weight and design. From his look of confusion, his face went rigid and certain. He was a soldier, ready to follow Yeager's order.

"She's right over there. One bullet, right between her eyes. That's all you need to do."

Ellison took aim. The woman screamed behind the duct tape gag, her eyes panic-stricken. She struggled in the chair, shaking her head no, begging.

Though muffled, it was clear she was trying to shout Ellison's first name, pleading with him not to kill her.

Yeager felt the grip of total control sweep over his body. This is what he lived for, what he had spent the last two years working toward. He had read about Sentinels when he was a boy, now he had one of his own. He had taken the last year to train his sentinel to do what he ordered, to work for him without question. Now he held Naomi Sandburg's life in his hands, ready to kill the mother of his guide, taking Yeager that final step toward his goal. The Toshito building would be his, all the millions in its computer controlled vault his to spend and savor, to fund his military operations across the globe. He would be able to take on any terror for hire job he chose. And he would never be caught. The sentinel would be his secret weapon, making him both invincible and invisible. No one would ever sneak up on Yeager again, he would always have time to make his get away with his sentinel to warn him.

Ellison took aim, holding the gun steady, sighting precisely. He stood twenty feet from the target, an easy shot. He looked cold, determined.

"Tell me her heart rate," Yeager asked in a low voice. "What is her rate of respiration?"

"Her heart is pounding," Ellison stated, his voice a hoarse rumble. "It's a hundred and two beats per minute. Her respiration rate is twenty three."

"Very good, sentinel," Yeager breathed. "Now make her stop." He couldn't help the note of glee that had crept into his voice. He held the power of life and death -- over Naomi Sandburg, over Ellison and his guide, even over O'Reilly, Flynn, Carpelli and Kortran. He would soon hold that power over the hostages they would take in the Toshito building. His moment had arrived.

He watched Ellison's face. He looked as though he were trying to identify the woman, some part of his brain probably recognizing her as Sandburg's mother. Yeager knew the drug in his system would make believing what he saw with his own eyes difficult, so he didn't worry recognizing her would stop him following the order. Gone was the compassionate man who had lived to protect his city of Cascade, Washington, the highly honored detective who used his sensory abilities to solve cases without benefit of a forensics lab. Gone was the man who had tried to fight against being taken prisoner from his own home. He was Yeager's sentinel now.

Ellison's hand shook slightly as he sighted down the barrel. Was he feeling compassion toward the helpless woman? Did he question the orders he had been given?

"Kill her, or we will hurt Blair," Yeager told him, his voice light and almost singsong, a chant he had used so often. "We'll use the belt on him. You don't want that."

Ellison's finger twitched on the trigger.

The door to the room crashed open. "He's escaped!" Carpelli shouted. "Sandburg! He shot Flynn!"

Yeager reached for the gun in Ellison's hand. The sentinel moved faster. He fired and Yeager, hit in the shoulder, went down.

"Ellison, no! Kill the woman!" Yeager shouted from the floor. "Use your bare hands! Kill her!"

Carpelli approached the sentinel. Ellison let the gun fall to the floor and brought up his fist.

"Whoa there -- save it, Ellison," Carpelli barked, the New York hood evident in his tone and stance. "Your boyfriend's tryin' to escape. If you don't back off..."

He never had a chance to finish. Ellison was on him, snarling like a wild cat. As Yeager watched, the sentinel grabbed Carpelli by the throat and pulled his body close. Nostrils flaring, he scented the man like he was prey. With a feral roar, he shook Carpelli hard, then with one quick jerk, broke the man's neck.

The dead man dropped to the floor and Ellison bent over him, sniffing once more like a predator making sure he had killed his victim. Then, satisfied Carpelli was finished, he got to his feet.

He stood uncertainly in the middle of the room, his eyes moving between Yeager and Naomi.

"You have to kill her," Yeager ground out, holding his shoulder. It was bleeding but he knew he wasn't mortally wounded.

Ellison's mouth opened as if he wanted to protest. "But... she's... "

"She's nothing." Yeager began to slowly get to his feet. If he could just get to the monitor on the desk five feet away, he could see where Sandburg was, if he was anywhere near this part of the building. "Kill her the way you killed Carpelli. You don't need a weapon."

Ellison swayed on his feet, looking at Naomi as though he thought he knew her. He glanced back toward Yeager again.

Almost to the desk now, Yeager reached to pull himself up. The monitor showed four different views of the building's interior. Sandburg wasn't visible in any of the shots. He touched a button to switch the views and saw the young man dashing down a nearby corridor. He was armed, with what looked like Flynn's 9 mm Glock 18 machine pistol. Yeager couldn't spare time to wonder how the academic had overpowered Flynn and killed him, Sandburg would find the lab in a few moments. Yeager grabbed the microphone to alert his guards.

Taking his eyes off Ellison was a mistake. He was grabbed, shaken like a puppet by the snarling animal that had replaced the civilized sentinel, and his airway was cut off. Both Ellison's hands were around Yeager's throat, squeezing. From a distance, he could hear Naomi still trying to shout despite her gag and the alarm that someone had finally set off.

Yeager knew that his trained men would converge on the lab, but he didn't know if he would be alive by the time they got there. His hands gripped Ellison's wrists, trying to break the sentinel's grip. He was starting to feel dizzy from lack of oxygen. He kicked out, the heel of his Crockett and Jones shoe coming into contact with Ellison's thigh. The thin fabric of the scrub pants the sentinel wore were slim protection from the sharp designer shoe heel and he snarled in pain, releasing Yeager's throat as he did so.

That gave Yeager enough time to go for the compact Smith and Wesson semi automatic he had tucked into his belt.

"Drop it, Yeager!" Sandburg's voice cried as he barreled into the room. He held out the gun he'd taken from Flynn but Yeager was sure the younger man didn't know how to use it.

Sandburg sprayed bullets in Yeager's general direction. He wasn't accurate but with the powerful machine pistol in his hands, he wouldn't need to be. Yeager dropped his own gun.

Ellison grabbed him a second time, his hands once again gripping Yeager's neck. He shook hard, as though Yeager weighed nothing more than a rabbit.

"Jim, no!" Sandburg shouted. He started forward. Yeager heard Naomi's stifled squeal of recognition.

"Mom? Oh, thank God!" Taking his eyes off Yeager, Sandburg headed toward his mother.

"Let me go, Ellison!" Yeager yelled, his fingers scrabbling over the sentinel's forearms.

Sandburg turned to the pair once again.

"Jim, let him go," he said, his voice losing all anger and excitement, going at once to the soothing tones he used to guide the sentinel.

"I know you want to kill him, Jim, but stop. We've got to get out of here and the others won't let us if we kill Yeager. Listen to me, Jim. Let him go."

Gradually, Ellison's grip loosened. He took his hands from around Yeager's neck but kept an iron grip on the man's wounded shoulder. The pain was so intense Yeager nearly passed out, but he fought it off. He had to get back in control of the situation.

O'Reilly would be here soon. Kortran too, probably. And the guards. If he could keep Sandburg from firing that Glock, he just might make it.

At that moment, O'Reilly and three guards appeared in the doorway. Sandburg whirled to cover them.

"Stay where you are," he ordered, his voice steady. "We're leaving. You're not going to stop us, understand?"

Yeager laughed. "You don't even know where you are, son. You're a hundred miles from the nearest town. You'll never make it."

"Jim spent eighteen months in the Peruvian jungle, remember? And I've been everywhere from the equator to the North Pole, so I don't think we have too much to worry about."

Ellison was breathing heavily. Yeager tried to assess his condition. He wasn't zoned, the electrodes on his forehead and chest made that impossible, but he looked dazed, his mental state clearly not up to what was going on.

"Go kill that woman," Yeager whispered so low only the sentinel could hear him.

Ellison shuddered, the drug in his system keeping him submissive to Yeager's orders. He kept his grip on Yeager's shoulder but his eyes returned to the woman bound to the chair.

"That's it, go kill her for me. You need to end her life. She hurt Sandburg. You can't let her live."

Ellison let go and took a step in Naomi's direction.

Sandburg's face showed his confusion. "Jim? What are you doing?"

Ellison halted mid-step. He had brought his hands up and they were flexing as though he was looking forward to wringing the life from the woman.

"He's going to kill your mother, Sandburg," Yeager informed him. "There's nothing you can do to stop him."

"I've had it with your manipulating Jim," Sandburg snarled. "I'm his guide. He's not your property. Not now and not ever."

He took a step toward Ellison, his eyes leaving O'Reilley and the guards.

They rushed the younger man. Sandburg turned and fired the weapon, bullets spraying the room. Two of the guards went down but O'Reilly, his blond hair flying, dove for cover behind the exam table. He managed to get off a shot from the new position.

O'Reilly's shot missed Sandburg but it startled Ellison. The sentinel now moved toward his guide. His long arms reached and he swept Sandburg off his feet, throwing the shorter man behind him, dragging him out of O'Reilly's line of fire and to where Naomi sat tied to the wheeled chair.

Ellison pulled both Sandburg and his mother to the corner of the room. He didn't speak but Yeager could hear him growling low in his throat. He shielded them with his body.

O'Reilley stood, his gun aimed at Ellison.

"Don't shoot him!" Yeager yelled.

"That's right," Sandburg responded, mostly hidden by Ellison's hulking figure. "You don't want your prize lab rat killed, do you, Yeager? That's why you're going to let us go."

"Let you go? Not after all I've spent on making him into finest weapon a terrorist could dream of." Yeager stood, smiling now, confident that he would regain control of the situation.

Sandburg was working at the tape that covered Naomi's mouth. "After this, Jim's not going to be any use to you. A sentinel is genetically disposed to protect, not murder. I don't care what drugs you've given him, he's not going to kill for you."

"Oh, sweetie," Naomi gasped, her gag finally removed. "I've been so worried about you all this time!"

"I'm okay, Mom," Sandburg answered without taking his eyes off of Ellison. "Have they been treating you all right?"

"I've been bored out of my skull," she quipped. "You can only meditate so much." She shook her hair out of her eyes. "You think you can get me out of this, honey?"

"Get me something to cut my mother loose with," Sandburg demanded.

Ellison wasn't moving. He looked nearly catatonic to Yeager.

"It's not going to be that easy, Sandburg," Yeager said coolly. "You can take your choice. You either walk out of here with your mother or Ellison. You can't have them both."

Sandburg's face went a shade paler but he didn't let his fear show in his voice. "I'm not choosing. You'll either let us both go or I'll kill you and O'Reilly and as many guards as I can take with me."

"You're not a killer, Sandburg," O'Reilly shouted back, laughing, his brogue strong.

"Try me." Sandburg tried to move from behind Ellison, apparently searching for something to use to cut the tape binding his mother to the chair. Ellison snarled and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, pulling him back behind him.

"Jim -- " Sandburg protested.

Yeager had had enough. He reached inside his jacket pocket for the security belt controller. Sandburg wouldn't be so tough when he used it on him.

He pressed the button.

Sandburg screamed like his guts were being torn open. The Glock went flying from his hands.

O'Reilley started toward it. Ellison got there first. He fired a blast and both Yeager and O'Reilly had to dive for cover again. While Sandburg was still screaming and writhing, Ellison got his free arm around him and began dragging him from the room.

Sandburg shouldn't have been able to function at all, but Yeager was shocked to see him grab for his mother's chair as Ellison began to move. The three of them made an unwieldy procession as Ellison moved them toward the door to the room.

"Call off the guards," Naomi said, the only one able to communicate verbally now that her son was incapacitated, "if you don't want Jim to kill them all. Blair said you're letting us all go and that's what you're going to do."

Yeager dropped his hands and turned his palms outward in a show of acquiescence. "Let them leave, Sean," he told O'Reilly. As Ellison dragged his guide and the woman out of the room, Yeager turned to mic on the desk.

"This is Yeager," he said into it. "Ellison, Sandburg and Sandburg's mother are to be allowed to leave the compound. Do not fire on them."

"Are you crazy?" Sean demanded coming up beside him.

"No, but I'm letting them think we'll let them go."

"Are you all right?" Sean asked, nodding toward the wound in Yeager's shoulder.

"I'll be fine for now," he answered, digging a handkerchief out of his pants pocket to hold against the wound. "Contact the doctor."

Continued in Part 10
warriors 6

World Without Love, part 8

Continued from Part 7

Jim liked the feeling of the breeze against his face. He wasn't sure why he was outside. He didn't know what was going to happen next, but he had been told to wait, so he did. He closed his eyes against the sunshine, breathing in the scents on the wind. He could make out roses, berries of various kinds. He should be able to distinguish the different ones... perhaps he would be tested. There was water flowing somewhere nearby. Fish were swimming in a stream. He could hear birds... ravens.

"Jim!"

Startled, Ellison flinched. He opened his eyes and saw Blair coming toward him. Unconsciously, he took a step back. He hadn't sensed Blair's approach and he knew that was wrong.

"Jim, it's okay."

Blair's voice sounded like it usually did, calm and patient with him. Jim stayed where he was, waiting. His heart beat a little faster at the sight of his guide. He heard his voice more often than he actually saw Blair. He couldn't remember the last time they'd been together. It was hard to think with his senses wide open, fully stimulated by the outdoors and his growing need to catalogue the sounds and scents.

Blair was smiling at him as he drew nearer. "It's a nice day, so I thought it would be fun to go for a walk together," he said. "Are you up for that?"

The question was incongruous to Jim. It had been so long since he'd been given a choice about whether he wanted do something or not. He had to note every bird call, figure out the temperature....

"It's a nice day," he agreed finally, realizing Blair expected him to speak.

Blair was in front of him now, looking at him with those deep blue eyes. They sparkled in the sunlight, shining up at him. He could spend hours looking into those eyes, counting the shades of blue, contrasting their darkness to the light shade of the sky. The intensity of Blair's eyes made Jim feel dizzy, hot and cold at the same time. He wanted so much to take Blair into his arms and show him how much he loved him. But he needed to be using his senses, not thinking about Blair. He always had to be using his senses. He let them range out further, all except for sight. He used that to probe the blue of Blair's eyes.

"Hey, it's okay," Blair said soothingly. "We're by ourselves. We have a whole hour to just wander around out here."

Jim was having a hard time following Blair's words. This must be some new kind of test for his senses.

He was surprised when Blair put his arms around him and hugged him close. "God, it's good to see you, man," Blair said against his neck. Jim felt his lips press a kiss into his skin. He shivered in reaction.

"Easy, Jim," Blair crooned, still holding him. "It's okay. What's wrong?"

Jim took a step back from Blair. "I... I don't understand."

Blair looked regretful. "I know. I'm sorry -- I was just trying to act normal, you know. Pretend we were just having an ordinary day. I thought that would make you feel better." He touched Jim's shoulder. "But I guess it made you more confused." He waited a moment before speaking again, gazing into Jim's eyes as if to assess him. "I asked Yeager if I could come out and just take a walk with you. I thought being outside for awhile would be nice, help your senses, you know?"

Jim floundered. Moving most of the time between a drugged state of semiconsciousness and intense sensory work, it was hard to determine what he was feeling emotionally or what he was supposed to do. He was happy to see Blair, but there was a part of him that felt empty, lost. Blair seemed so happy to see him... had Jim only imagined that he'd changed?

"So, we should be walking?" Jim asked.

Blair grinned. "Yeah. Let's walk."

They started out, strolling through the meadow of grasses, small flowering plants, wild roses and mosses. Jim sniffed the air, glancing over at Blair.

"Are you all right?" he asked, suddenly worried. He knew when he failed a test or didn't work hard enough, Blair could be hurt.

"Yeah, I'm fine. How about you?"

"The belt. It hasn't hurt you again?" Jim remembered Blair's screams as the electronic shocks from the belt ripped through his body. He remembered attacking Yeager when he hurt Blair. Sometimes the incident seemed very immediate in his mind. When did it happen? Yesterday, weeks ago?

Blair had been helping him... then he'd screamed. Jim had launched himself at Yeager, wanting to break the man's neck, kill him for daring to hurt his guide.

He couldn't remember much after the moment when he'd attacked Yeager. What had happened next? The rest was a blank. He only remembered... bruises and cuts he'd found on his body some time later. They must have beaten him in retaliation, he'd decided. But it didn't matter. They had hurt Blair.

"No, Jim." Blair put his hand on Jim's arm, stopping to look up at him closely. "They haven't used it again. Not for a long time now. I'm okay." He gestured toward his waist. The belt was covered by his shirt. "I don't even think about it that much any more. I mean... I hate it, but I've stopped being bothered by it so much. I had to get used to dealing with it or it would have driven me crazy, you know?"

Jim reached out, lifting Blair shirt tail. His fingers trailed over the wide expanse of heavy black webbing. "Crazy... isn't good," he whispered. "I sometimes... " His voice trailed off.

"Sometimes, what, Jim?"

"Worry that I'm... crazy." It was hard to admit that to Blair.

"Jim...." Blair stepped closer to him, squeezing his forearm. "You're not crazy. Don't even think that. It's just that the drugs they keep you on... they make it hard for you to think. I've tried to get them to stop, honest, but Yeager won't listen to me."

"Don't be upset," Jim begged. "I'm sorry." He felt abashed. So often he said the wrong thing when they were together, giving Blair reasons to think less of him.

Blair looked upset. "You don't have a damn thing to be sorry about. And you're not crazy. I'm doing my best to help you as much as I can. Maybe when Yeager pulls off his 'mission' -- whatever it is -- he'll ease up on us for awhile."

Jim broke eye contact with Blair. He'd made his guide angry. "I'll try. Don't... don't be mad."

Blair shook his head and Jim was distracted by the way the sunlight caught in Blair's curls as they moved. He could count so many shades in the dark strands: auburn, chestnut, brown... so many variations....

"I'm not mad at you, Jim," Blair said. He grasped Jim by his shoulders. "Look at me. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Jim felt disconnected, confused. He didn't know what was expected of him and his senses felt overwhelmed by the moving grasses, the breeze, the bird sounds and the fish swimming in the distant water. He was supposed to be using his senses but he didn't know what for right now. He only knew he didn't want to fail Blair.

Sandburg took a deep breath. "I'm not mad at you, Jim. I could never be mad at you. Not here. Not with all that's happened." He squeezed Jim's shoulders and the touch seemed to ground Jim, bringing his focus back to his what his guide was saying.

"Jim, you're under a lot of pressure. It's hard to live like this and I think you're hanging on as well as you can. You don't have to worry about what I think of you, okay?"

Jim gulped hard. He was surprised that Blair had mentioned how he felt about him. Had he been unable to hide his misgivings?

Blair put his arms around him, holding him close once again. "Jim, I love you. Don't ever forget that. No matter what they do to us, we still have each other."

Jim's arms came up to encircle Blair. He felt so good in his arms. He wished he could hold him this way for a long time. But he knew they were watching. Soon the questions would come, the tests. He had to keep using his senses.

Blair apparently didn't care. He touched Jim's face, turning it down toward him. Then he leaned up to kiss him on the lips.

Jim's senses swam. It was so good to be surrounded by Blair this way. His arms around Jim's body, his mouth touching his lips, his tongue sliding into Jim's mouth...

There it was again... the slightly off taste and scent. Jim couldn't place it. What did it mean?

He wanted to kiss Blair back, but he was being bombarded by sensory cues he could not comprehend. What if Blair was only saying he loved him? What was going to happen after the mission? Would Blair be let go by Yeager? Was he going to abandon Jim?

"Jim? You're shaking," Blair whispered, sounding concerned. "Are you cold?"

"No." Jim buried his face in Blair's curls, breathing in the scent of him, trying to remember if it was exactly as he remembered it. "I'm tired."

"I know." Blair rubbed his back. "Come on, let's walk. I think it'll be good for your senses to just relax and enjoy the day. Just let them roam out, don't try to focus on anything specific. Just let them rest and we'll walk for awhile."

Jim drew back from Blair's embrace. "What do you want me to listen for? Do you want me to tell you everything I can smell? What -- ?"

"No, Jim." Blair was smiling. "I said relax your senses. You don't have to focus on anything in particular."

Jim tried to concentrate on Blair's words. "I can't... stop focusing on... everything." Jim felt his body sway as his senses swept further out. He wasn't zoning, he felt as though every molecule of his being was about to fly apart. There was a buzzing in his ears, the world sounded like a tornado, so loud it hurt.

"Hey there... " Blair's voice came from very far away. He tried to pull into himself and make out the meaning of the words. "Jim... take it easy. Okay... it's okay. You don't have to keep opening up so far. Dial everything down."

Arms went around him, and suddenly he was being grounded by Blair's presence, his solid steadiness. The whirlwind that had taken him swooped into near silence and his body was in one piece, focusing only on Blair.

He realized they were sitting on the ground. He rubbed his eyes. His head hurt, his ears were ringing.

Blair was rubbing his arm. "It's too much, isn't it?" There was a note of regret in Blair's voice. "I thought it would help you to be out in nature -- you know, like when we'd take off out of Cascade and go camping so you could re-focus after all the distractions of the city. But it's not working." He sighed, sounding sorrowful. "They've taken that from you. You can't even enjoy your senses any more, can you?"

Blair's eyes were full of moisture and regret. Jim lifted his hand, touching the trembling corner of Blair's left eye. He could see faint lines there that he hadn't remembered from before. All this had taken a toll on his guide and Jim should have been able to fix it, get them away.

Blair blinked and tears trembled on his lashes. "I miss it so much, Jim. I miss Cascade, I miss the guys from Major Crimes, I miss working with you, loving you." He sighed, trying so hard not to fall apart. "I miss my mom."

Jim winced at the mention of Naomi. Blair still didn't know what the sentinel had heard as they were being driven away from the loft. He knew he should have told Blair months ago so that Yeager couldn't use the information against him, but he'd not been able to find the words the few times they were together. He couldn't imagine how learning of his mother's death would hurt Blair and in their all too brief shared moments, Jim couldn't bear the thought of being the one to make him feel that pain.

Now all he could do was stroke Blair's face, clumsily trying to comfort him, wordlessly offering his meager support. Far in the distance, a flock of geese was squawking as it approached. Jim glanced up, waiting for them.

"Let me give you something to focus on so you're not ranging out so far," Blair was saying, nudging Jim's shoulder to draw his attention. He pushed at the moss covering the ground where they sat, revealing soft earth. "Watch me, Jim," he directed.

As Jim looked on, Blair used his forefinger to trace lines in the dirt. He was spelling out words.

I made a weapon. If we get a chance, I can try to take out at least one of the guards. Do you want me to try?

Jim gasped as the words coalesced into a meaningful statement. He glanced at Blair, feeling an urgency of purpose he hadn't experienced in ages.

His heart pounding, Jim met Blair's eyes and nodded.

*****


"Okay," Yeager said, leaning back in his chair. "We move in the morning then. We'll get to Vancouver by noon and set up in the hotel. We'll have Ellison do the break in after dark and when we've got the money, we'll take off and return here."

"Are you sure you think this is wise?" Sean O'Reilly asked for probably the tenth time. "I thought you wanted to use Ellison in the Afghanistan job."

"We need the funds from this robbery, Sean," Yeager pointed out yet again. "And the only way to be really sure Ellison is ready for a terrorist operation is to test him in the field. This robbery will give us a chance to do that."

"I know," O'Reilly answered. "But it's the location that bothers me. Vancouver is just too damn close to Cascade. What if Ellison escapes? He could find his way back home... "

"We're going to make sure he doesn't," Yeager snapped. "That Japanese owned high rise in Vancouver is opening two days from now. We're going to be there to rob its vault. We'll blow it up and the authorities will never know we lived to escape with the money. This isn't a debate; my decision is final."

"Yes, sir," Patrick Flynn answered first. He stood, picking up his handwritten notes for the job.

"I'll get my men ready," Sean O'Reilly responded. He brushed past Flynn without another word, obviously still not happy with the idea of what they were about to do.

"What about Sandburg?" Nick Carpelli asked, turning to Yeager. "Do we bring him along in case there are problems with Ellison?"

Yeager frowned. "I hate to have to do it, because I think he'll be a liability, but I suppose we should. You're in charge of him, Nick. I don't want him trying anything. Don't let him out of your sight for a moment."

"No problem, sir," Carpelli smiled, looking smug.

Yeager turned to the final man remaining with him in the conference room. "Do you have the drugs ready? I don't want Ellison able to do much thinking for himself."

"I have enough dosages packed," Dr. Kortran promised. "He'll be compliant, don't worry."

"If he isn't, you're a dead man." Yeager gave the doctor a look that said he meant every word of that promise.

Continued in Part 9
warriors 6

World Without Love, part 7

Continued from Part 6

"Jim... " Blair breathed out the name, devastated by his sentinel's condition. "Jim." He moved to the narrow bed on which Jim was lying, obviously deeply zoned.

"What did you do to him?" Blair demanded, turning briefly to glance toward Yeager, who was standing in the doorway.

"We tested his sensory abilities. While we were recording his ability to discern different tastes, he went into this state. Then we brought him to his room and called you."

"Yeah, I'll just bet it was that simple," Blair muttered. He ran a hand over Jim's forehead, noting how clammy his skin felt. There were bruises on his jaw and dark circles under his eyes. "What were you making him taste? And for how long?"

"We employed a very high tech instrument that simulated various tastes," Yeager replied.

"A machine?" Blair suppressed a shudder, terrified of how having a device used to test his sense of taste might have affected Jim.

taste machine



"I'm sure it was much more scientific than your methods," Yeager responded. "We have amassed a great amount of new data on Detective Ellison which I'm sure you will be fascinated to read."

Blair ignored the taunt. "You know that when he concentrates too much on one sense, he can zone like this! How long did you use that machine on him?"

"I believe it was several hours," Yeager said. "Before, when he 'zoned' as you call it, it was a simple matter to revive him."

"He zoned before?" Blair was approaching Yeager before he even realized, his fists balled, anger rippling through his body.

Yeager took a step forward, his face going hard. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the controller for the security belt.

Blair stopped several feet short of Yeager, breathing heavily, realizing he needed to control himself. He took a breath and modulated his tone. "He zoned before and you didn't call me?"

"As I said, Doctor Kortran had no trouble bringing him back to consciousness previously."

Blair glanced back toward the bed. "Is that how Jim got those bruises on his face?"

"Mr. Sandburg. If you can revive Detective Ellison, I suggest you begin." Without further comment, Yeager turned and closed the door to the room. Blair heard the lock mechanism click.

He turned back to Jim, more worried than before.

The sentinel was pale, his face marred by dark bruises along his jaw. There were some superficial cuts as well and Blair ached to think of the men punching him to bring him out of zones. What Jim was going through was exactly what he had always feared, that of being treated like a lab rat, probed and tested without regard to his humanity.

He was covered by a sheet. Blair drew it down and it revealed that Jim wasn't dressed. His arms were covered with injection marks -- whatever drugs they had given Jim were probably contributing to the current problem.

Blair looked around the room in which they were locked. It contained the bed, a night stand, chair and against one wall, a toilet and sink. Blair went over to the sink and found towels and soap laid out there. He soaked a towel in warm water and moved back to Jim's side.

He began washing Jim's face, trying to soothe him and hoping the gentle sensation would attract the zoned sentinel's attention. He began speaking to him, calling him with his voice, using the gentlest guiding tones he could summon, praying he could suppress the despair that threatened to make him shout and curse. Jim's eyes were open, but unfocused, and it was obvious his mind was very far away. Anger and fear made Blair's heart pound. It literally hurt to see Jim being treated so badly and he was terrified that their captors had sent him into a zone from which Blair couldn't pull him back.

For what seemed like hours, Blair cajoled and called, touching Jim gently, whispering at his ear, dripping warm water over his body, squeezing his hands, but nothing seemed to work.

"You're zoned, Jim," he whispered. "You're just zoned. It's all right to come back. I'm here with you now. I know it's been awful, but I need you. Please, please come out of it. Follow my voice back, Jim...."

Blair sighed, went over to the sink and ran some cold water, cupping his hands and bringing it to his lips to quench his dry throat. He'd been talking for hours. He knew that Yeager would eventually lose patience with him and he didn't know what they would do to them if he couldn't bring Jim out of the zone, but he didn't suppose that letting them go and just forgetting the whole thing was a possibility.

"You're zoned on taste, Jim." Blair continued speaking between drinks of water. "Listen to my voice... follow me back."

Taste....

He took another drink and kept some of the cool water in his mouth, then hurried back to the bedside.

Leaning over, he pressed his lips to Jim's lax ones and let the water trickle into the sentinel's mouth. Then, he licked Jim's dry lips with his tongue, slipping it between Jim's lips, bringing it into contact with Jim's tongue, hoping to reach him that way.

"Taste me, Jim," he begged. "It's Blair. I'm here. I need you. Come back to me." He kissed Jim fully then, pressing his mouth to Jim's unresponsive lips, using his tongue and showing all the love he felt for the man, his anguish superseding his caution, knowing that they were probably being watched but knowing no other way to get through to his sentinel.

He was about to give up, when he heard a deep gasp and felt Jim's mouth respond. Strong arms went around him, holding him close and his mouth was taken by suddenly avid lips. Jim's tongue pushed into Blair's mouth and they tasted each other. It had been so long... Blair wanted to sob. He wanted to shout for joy that Jim was there with him.

Though he didn't want to break the kiss, he pulled back. His hands cupped Jim's face and he looked into the sentinel's eyes.

The were focused on him -- the most beautiful sight Blair had ever seen.

"Jim... " he breathed. "you're back."

"Back?" Jim's voice croaked.

"You were zoned. It's been... awhile." Blair stroked Jim's cheek. "How do you feel?"

Jim blinked, appearing to consider the question. "Strange." He pursed his lips, then ran his tongue over them as if to taste Sandburg there. "What...?"

The door to the room suddenly opened.

"Excellent job, Mr. Sandburg."

Yeager. Of course. Blair didn't even turn around to acknowledge the man's presence.

Jim's whole body stiffened.

"Stay with me, Jim. It's all right." Blair tried to soothe him, fearing Yeager's presence would send Jim into another zone or worse, make him want to fight back.

"That will be all, Mr. Sandburg," Yeager said, moving to stand over the bed. "We'll be taking Detective Ellison back to the lab now."

"He needs rest," Blair yelled. "After a zone like that, he needs sleep, some food and a chance to get his head back together before you go trying to test him any more, don't you understand that?"

"Mind your tone," Yeager began.

"Allow me to examine Ellison," another voice spoke up. Blair realized that the one they referred to as Dr. Kortran had come into the room as well.

He stepped past Yeager, eyes on Blair, as though tacitly asking for permission to approach Jim. Blair decided that he might be able to help at the moment, so he stood, stepping aside to allow Kortran access to Jim.

The doctor bent over the sentinel, listening to his chest with a stethoscope, checking his pupils and pulse. He took Jim's blood pressure and then turned to Yeager. "Sandburg is correct. I'm afraid if we push Mr. Ellison further right now, he will zone once more and thus delay our testing even more."

Yeager sighed. He glanced at the gold Rolex he was wearing and looked at Kortran. "All right. I see your point. It's two a.m. anyway. We'll proceed again in the morning."

Blair was shocked to hear the time. He's lost all track of it while working with Jim. "Let me stay with him," he spoke up. "I need to make an assessment of him too. You know I'm the authority on his condition and abilities. He might not be ready for more testing in the morning. You've drugged him, pushed his limits... "

"Enough." Yeager held up a hand, then looked at Kortran for the doctor's opinion.

The two of them stepped aside to confer in whispers. Blair held his breath in hope, turning back to Jim while he waited. Jim's eyes were still on him, their expression clouded with confusion.

"You'll return to your quarters for now, Mr. Sandburg," Yeager pronounced. "In the morning, we'll bring you in to check on Detective Ellison's condition."

"No, you don't understand," Blair argued. "He's conscious now, but after a deep zone like that, I need to monitor him, make sure he's functioning all right. Can't you see he's still dazed?"

Yeager took hold of Blair's arm. "You're going back to your quarters, now," he repeated, his voice hardening.

Blair tried to twist out of Yeager's grip, suddenly flooded with anger. He was sick of being held prisoner, unable to help Jim by these men who only thought of him as an animal to be tested, not a human being, a sentinel with feelings and sensitivities. Before he could think about it, he threw a punch at Yeager.

Kortran grabbed at him, and Blair struck the doctor too, landing a solid blow to the man's gut. Kortran doubled over and hit the floor. Grimly satisfied, Blair rounded once again on Yeager, determined to knock the complacent look off the man's face.

Just as his fist connected with Yeager's jaw, the pain hit him.

Blair screamed. He fell to the floor, writhing in agony. Yeager had pressed the control for the belt. Blair hadn't even thought about it as he'd attacked.

Pain stabbed at his body like hot knives, and he screamed out again and again. His body went rigid and then boneless, flopping uncontrollably over the floor. Wetness soaked him in seconds, both sweat and urine released by his brutally attacked body.

Distantly, he heard a roar. He tried to see past the pain, to figure out what was going on.

Jim was off the bed, snarling in anger, attacking Yeager. His hands were around the man's throat. Blair hadn't thought the sentinel would have had the strength to even get out of bed.

Jim had Yeager pinned against the wall and was squeezing the life out of him. Blair lay gasping in pain, unable to help, but hoping Jim would kill the man.

It wasn't to be. Kortran called for reinforcements and guards rushed the room, dragging the naked sentinel off Yeager. Jim continued to struggle, clawing and fighting, but the men beat at him until he collapsed on the floor.

Blair could only watch as the guards then took Jim by his arms and dragged him out of the room. He lay there panting for breath, unable even to speak, to protest their treatment of Jim. Tears of pain and frustration filled his eyes and he was too despondent to attempt to hide them from Kortran, who stood there looking down at him.

"Clearly, Ellison is stronger than you give him credit for," Kortran said after a moment. "I don't believe we will injure him by further testing." He spoke into his walkie talkie. "I need two guards to take Sandburg back to his quarters."

Kortran waited until more men arrived. Blair was surprised to see Carpelli had come. For some reason, having the American see him reduced to a puddle of weakness was more humiliating than having just the guards find him this way. But Carpelli didn't say a word as he and the other guard bent to pull Blair to his feet.

Sandburg swayed, still shaking in residual pain. He was exhausted, worried about Jim, depressed and defeated. He let Carpelli and the guard manhandle him back to his room.

*****


For Jim Ellison, time had become meaningless. He existed only to use his senses, to do what Kortran and Yeager ordered him to do. He seldom saw Sandburg and when he did, he could not help the nagging feeling that something was wrong, that something had changed Blair's feelings for him.

He remembered Blair kissing him, bringing him out of the deep zone. The taste of Blair's mouth... had been different somehow. Ellison's exhausted sense of taste had not been able to decide what that difference was, but he knew it existed. He had been so confused, so lost. He wanted Blair to stay with him, but Yeager said he had to go.

He remembered Blair arguing, then fighting with Yeager. He remembered Blair screaming in pain. He remembered attacking Yeager for daring to hurt his guide.

There had been retribution for that. He had been punished. The beating had seemed to go on for hours. They had used drugs too, stronger than the ones that had seemed to sharpen his senses to painful clarity. These mad him feel like he was losing his grip on his sanity, never sure if the voices he heard ordering him to do things were actual or imagined, if what he was seeing and hearing were real or hallucinations. Now, he was kept drugged most of the time, brought to consciousness only when they wished to continue his training. Yeager spent days and nights testing and developing his senses. They had managed to find a way to keep him from zoning so he didn't waste their time, electrodes that Kortran had affixed to him to stimulate his sensory nerves when he was in danger of zoning that brought him back.

Jim hated wearing the electrodes. It made him feel like an animal, a slave, unable even to zone himself away from the situation. And he wanted to zone. He was so tired all the time, so alone. He despaired of ever finding an escape from the captivity, from being forced to use his senses for Yeager.

Jim sometimes dreamed about zoning. He kept trying to send himself into a zone from which there would be no escape, ending his usefulness to Yeager. But they always brought him back. He had lost even that amount of control over his life, his senses and his body. Besides, he knew if he zoned permanently, that would place Blair in danger. Yeager wouldn't need his guide without the sentinel.

Jim had tried to make plans, to learn about his captors and devise some plan of escape, but the drugs they were giving him were too strong. He couldn't remember things he had observed and catalogued, couldn't gather enough data to come up with anything useful. His sensory training alternated with O'Reilly put him through military exercises that were more stringent than Ranger school.

He had lost the ability to think for himself. He existed to do what he was ordered to do, hoping for moments of peace and lucidity here and there when Blair was with him. Those moments were few and far between.

He handled the object with delicate precision, testing its weight and shape with his sensitive fingers. It was plastic, but it contained metal. Yeager nodded when he handed it over to him. He had found the weapon amongst the decoys.

He used the gun sight to calculate the distance to his target. Four hundred thirty two yards. He reported to Yeager who confirmed he was accurate. Jim then squeezed the trigger, hitting the target dead center.

He listened to the man's heart beat and respirations; they were elevated. "He's lying," he said into the microphone, telling Yeager, who had been interrogating the man, his assessment.

He slid his hands over the row of objects, sensing the differences in temperature between them. Only one was between a hundred and a hundred and twenty degrees. That was the one that he could use to open the temperature sensitive lock on the mechanism.

Occasionally, perhaps every few weeks, he saw Sandburg. They allowed him to come in when Jim couldn't do what they ordered him to, when only his guide's voice could help him locate the explosives they wanted him to find, when only Blair's suggestions could talk him through opening a complicated safe or assist him in using his senses to navigate an intricate maze of passages.

Yet even those few meetings between them were not as pleasant as Jim had hoped. Whenever Blair approached him, Jim could sense something different about his guide. There was something that hadn't been there before. He sensed apprehension in Blair, more than Jim thought could be explained by the drugs in his system and their being held captive. Blair did not feel the same toward him.

That had to be it, Jim had decided, though it killed him to admit. Blair now saw him as weak, and couldn't love him as he had before. Blair must see Jim as nothing but a lab rat, someone to pity, to scorn. Though he remained gentle and understanding with Jim, Ellison felt the difference. He and Blair had few opportunities for private interaction but when his guide was close to him, there was something Jim could sense. A slightly off scent, a taste that didn't belong.

He couldn't place it, couldn't determine what it meant. The drugs impeded his reasoning. But it was there and he was sure it was real.

In his conscious, lucid moments, Ellison mourned the loss of the life he had known. He felt empty, useless. He was kept alive for only the senses he possessed, and any comfort or safety in his world was handed out by Yeager. If he did as Yeager demanded, he was fed, clothed and could rest. If he did not, he was allowed neither food nor water nor sleep. He mourned the loss of the love he and Sandburg had just found, cut short by his own fault. If only he hadn't let down his guard when making love to Sandburg, maybe he could have prevented their capture. Surely that was part of why he sensed the difference in Blair now. Sandburg must blame him for not protecting him.

His world had dwindled down to sensory exploitation and nothing else. No friendship, no freedom, no hope existed. It was a world without love, and Jim Ellison did not want to live in it.

*****


"Come on, Jim. You can do this," Blair repeated into the microphone. "How much does the rock weigh?"

Ellison stood in the woods on the outskirts of the compound, observed by Sandburg and Yeager via video camera. He held a rock between his hands and his face was taut with concentration.

"Four pounds, six ounces," he said finally, his voice a rasp and devoid of expression.

"That's right, Jim. Good job!" Blair praised him, even though the words felt hollow to him. It sickened him to help Yeager make Jim 'perform'. "Now, pick up the next one and tell me how much it weighs." He glanced at Yeager and covered the mic. "This is stupid. Why are you making him weigh these rocks?"

"We will require that he know the precise difference in weight between certain objects on the mission," Yeager replied, sounding bored with Blair's questions.

Blair returned his attention to Jim. "How much is that one, Jim?"

"Three pounds, two ounces," Ellison replied in his flat, lifeless voice.

"That's great, Jim. We're finished now. Are you doing all right?"

Ellison let the rock drop from his hands and lifted his face toward the sky. It was a sunny day, with a warm breeze and he seemed to like feeling the rays against his face. Blair couldn't remember the last time they'd been outside.

He took a deep breath and spoke carefully to Yeager. "Look, it's a nice day out. Jim could use the exercise and his senses would benefit from relaxing out in the sun for awhile. Can you let us take a break to just walk for awhile?"

Yeager's face showed no response for a long moment and Blair feared that, as usual, his request to spend time with Jim would be denied. But this time, Yeager nodded. "The guards will continue to observe the two of you," he said. "You know better after all these months than to try to escape, I trust."

"Of course." Blair managed to keep the bitterness out of his voice. He had become a very compliant captive in the intervening time. It had been nearly a year now, over eleven months. He was sure that their funerals were nothing but a distant memory to their friends back in Cascade, that no one had realized that he had been forced to write the suicide e-mail, even with the comment about thanking Darryl he'd added in a feeble attempt to leave them a clue. No one had come looking for them -- obviously Yeager and his men had covered their trail too well.

"Very well," Yeager agreed finally. "Remember we have the perimeter covered by video cameras at all times and the electronic fence is turned on. The range of your security belt is a mile. You can have an hour with him outside."

Blair spoke once more into the microphone. "Wait out there, Jim. I'll be out in a minute." He tossed off his headphones and left the room, not voicing any thanks to Yeager for allowing him to go out with Jim. That much he wouldn't do.

At the lab door, Carpelli joined him and Blair knew the man would be accompanying him out to where Jim was waiting. He sighed, suppressing his dislike of the guy, knowing he had to continue to stay on his good side.

"I put in a good word for you with Yeager," Nick said as they walked. "After you did so good for me last night, it was the least I could do."

Blair swallowed. So that was why Yeager had agreed. He hated that he had to perform sexual favors for Carpelli just to get to see Jim, but after all this time, it was a fact of life and not something he could complain about or try to change. He just hoped Jim would never find out. He wouldn't understand and it would hurt him too much.

"Uh... thanks," he said finally. Thanking Carpelli was different than thanking Yeager, but not much. But he had to pretend to be less antagonistic to the man who held the key to whether he could see Jim from time to time. They walked along, Carpelli talking about basketball, relating some scores for the Jags games to Blair, another small concession he had given him over the months. Blair wasn't allowed to watch tv for fear of learning their location or any other news, but Carpelli told him out the Cascade teams did once in a while.

After a few minutes, they spotted Jim. The sentinel was still standing where he had been, waiting for his guide or further instructions. He had grown gaunt and pale over the months. His face had lost most of its intensity of expression, the spark had gone out of his eyes. He had become what Yeager wanted, what Yeager had trained him to be, a trick pony, a lab animal that performed whatever task Yeager devised for him. Blair had begged, over and over again, for them to ease up on the drugs they gave Jim, but his pleas had been ignored.

Blair stopped and turned to Carpelli. "Nick," he began, "can you stay back? I get so little time alone with him." He smiled at the man, trying to project his need to be with Jim as well as a shade of caring what Carpelli thought.

Nick smirked and ran a hand down Blair's arm possessively. "Sure. We've got you on camera. I can head back to the main building if you want. But you'll make it up to me later on, remember."

"Thanks, Nick," Blair whispered, fearing that Jim might hear them. He was never certain how much Ellison used his senses when he wasn't being ordered to.

He watched Carpelli turn back and with a sigh of relief, he went the rest of the way to Jim alone. They were observed by cameras most of the time, and their captors knew they had been lovers. They hadn't seemed that interested in the fact, though they knew that both men could be compelled to do what they wanted because of their devotion to each other. Blair had decided that even if they were being watched, he had to touch Jim from time to time, show him he cared. It was all they had.

continued in part 8
warriors 6

World Without Love, part 6

Continued from Part 5

Cascade

Dan Wolfe sighed as he rolled the body that had been identified as Jim Ellison back into its refrigerated compartment. It had been a difficult autopsy. The body had been so badly burned that he had used dental records to make the identification. Not only that, but it was always hard to autopsy someone he knew, and Jim Ellison was a friend as well as a co-worker. So was Sandburg. Dan had liked the young anthropologist and had had many enjoyable conversations with him aside from seeing him in the lab at Ellison's side. They had discussed Native American culture, forensics, the Jags... Dan hated the thought that these two vital, young colleagues had been brought to his lab as burned corpses.

He remembered the way Blair hadn't been able to stand looking at a dead body in the beginning. Later, as he'd gained experience, he had managed to stay in the autopsy room for awhile, but he'd often left before Ellison was finished talking with Dan about his findings. That was one reason the young man's suicide didn't make sense to Dan.
Someone with Sandburg's sensibilities would not have seemed a likely candidate for suicide in the first place and as far as dying in a fire... he certainly wouldn't have wanted to be found like that.

Still, he had probably not expected the loft to go up in flames. He had presumably just wanted to inhale the gas, thinking he would just pass out and die from that alone.

Dan went to his desk and picked up the report from the fire department. Apparently they still had not found the way the fire had started. An errant spark, most likely. But if Ellison were asleep upstairs, how had a spark ignited the blaze?

Dan had been as thorough as he could be with Ellison's autopsy. He had one finding that didn't add up with the facts as he knew them -- or rather, he couldn't make sense of it. There seemed to have been a blow to Ellison's skull. It was hard to determine if it had happened pre or post mortem due to the fire damage, but the little evidence Dan had gleaned seemed to indicate it was before death. That made his findings even more difficult to accept, however. Had Blair killed Jim before he went to put his head in the oven of the stove? Was this a murder-suicide and not just a suicide with an accidental death as collateral damage?

Dan picked up the phone and dialed Simon Banks' office number.

"Banks."

"Simon, it's Dan Wolfe," Dan began. He could hear the other man sigh, probably not too happy about the call. He knew the Captain had been very upset about the deaths of Ellison and Sandburg and he wasn't likely to be cheered up by the information that Dan was about to give him. As briefly as possible, he related his findings to Simon.

"Damn." Banks had been quiet during Dan's autopsy report. Now he sounded defeated, lost. "It just doesn't make sense, Dan," he mused. "Sandburg... he just wasn't the type of man you would expect to commit murder. I never would imagine he'd kill someone like Sid Graham for doing what he did to Blair... and to think he might also have killed Jim? I can't fathom it. Are you sure about your findings?"

"I'm not a hundred percent, Simon," Dan replied. "But the evidence is pointing in that direction. I know you don't like hearing it, but... "

"I know. You had to fill me in. I guess... I guess Sandburg must have had some kind of break down. That's the only explanation."

"Even that doesn't make sense," Dan said. "He was a pretty sane guy, at least as much as I knew him."

"We all have our breaking point." Simon sounded tired, disgusted. "We hear this kind of thing all the time... but you don't expect it to happen to people you know."

"I'm sending out some specimens to the lab," Dan informed Simon. "Maybe they'll find something the autopsy itself didn't turn up. As I said, it was pretty difficult with Ellison's body so badly burned. I'll let you know when I get the reports back."

"Does that include DNA?" Simon asked.

"Yeah, just as you requested. I did DNA testing on both bodies."

"Okay. Thanks, Dan." Simon cut the connection.

He glanced down at the print out on his desk. It was Blair's e-mail. He had read it a thousand times in the last few days.

"To everyone,

"I'm sorry about what happened. I'm a fraud and a liar. I did go to New York to kill Sid Graham, because he ruined my life. Now I can't live with the guilt. And I wouldn't have made a good cop because of it. Thanks for everything, especially to Darryl."

"Blair Sandburg"


If Blair had wanted to kill himself and for some crazy reason had decided to take Jim with him -- wouldn't he have said so in his note? He didn't even mention Jim.

On the one hand, Simon thought, that was a good thing. It was hard enough to think of Sandburg killing Sid Graham, but to envision him taking Jim's life before killing himself? No, that didn't make sense at all. Maybe the evidence of the blow to Jim's head was wrong -- it could have happened when the sky light had fallen on him; it had broken during the fire from the heat.

Blair Sandburg -- a murderer. No. With every fiber of his being, Simon Banks could not believe that, not as a friend of the young man and not as a cop. He just could not believe that Blair had gone off his rocker and killed Graham and then, consumed with guilt, committed suicide. He thought about how Jim had told him -- as well as the police commissioner -- that Blair had been with him the night before Graham was found dead in New York. It just didn't add up.

Simon had contacted the New York police after Blair's note had been discovered. Maybe he should talk to them again, he thought now. He needed to find out what evidence, if any, there was in the Graham murder. And he needed to find out if Sandburg had gone back and forth to New York in the given time frame.

He and the rest of Major Crimes had been in a state of shock for the last few days. They had been too upset to really think about what had happened. But too many things didn't add up.

Thanks for everything, especially to Darryl.

That line, more than the rest, haunted Simon. He'd asked his son if he had done anything for Sandburg recently, but Darryl had said he hadn't. Darryl couldn't' think of a single thing that Blair might have wanted to "especially" thank him for in his suicide note. Simon imagined that he was thanking his friends in Major Crime for offering him the badge, for letting him work alongside Jim for the last four years, but the words "especially to Darryl" didn't fit.

If his son hadn't done anything he could think of for Blair to thank him for in his note, why had Sandburg written that line? Simon didn't believe that he had really wanted to thank Darryl for anything. But why would Sandburg mention his son at all in his suicide note? Had he thought that saying thank-you to the boy would somehow make Darryl less upset by Blair's death?

He supposed that could be -- but people who were about to kill themselves were often too upset to think of how others would feel. If that was what Blair had been trying to convey, wouldn't he have just apologized to Darryl, instead of thanking him? He guessed that Sandburg had been so upset when writing the note that he had worded it that way, not realizing that it would confuse people after his suicide.

Still, Sandburg was a scholar. Banks didn't think anything, even planning to kill himself, would make him write something so vague.

What if -- Simon sat forward in his chair -- what if Sandburg had been trying to leave some other message in the line? What if he had been trying to say something purposely confusing? Simon reached for a cigar without taking his eyes from the print out.

If Blair Sandburg had killed someone and then decided to kill himself, why would he have written such a brief note? Wouldn't he have gone into more detail, mentioned more people, explained how he had killed Sid Graham?

What if -- Simon shook his head. It was too preposterous. Too much like a murder mystery or movie plot. What if someone had coerced Blair to write the note? Someone like Sandburg might have put in the line about Darryl to purposely confuse the note's readers, to show that he had been forced to write it against his will.

Absurd as it sounded, that was the only explanation that made sense. Simon picked up the phone and dialed Dan Wolfe's office. Maybe what they were dealing with wasn't a suicide with an accidental death, or even a murder suicide. Maybe what they were dealing with was a double homicide by person or persons unknown -- and he needed Dan to find out if there was any evidence to prove that theory.

*****


Yeager stood looking down at the naked man on the exam table. His body was slick with sweat, his eyes were unfocused and he was limp and unresponsive. "How long has he been like this?"

Kortran checked his watch. "About an hour, sir. I've tried various forms of stimulus to rouse him, but... "

"Apparently the so-called 'zone-out factor' isn't 'so-called," Yeager said wryly. "What sense were you testing?"

"Taste." Kortran pointed out the machine that stood next to the table. It had been expensive, nearly four thousand dollars if Yeager recalled correctly. The machine was supposed to provide a scientific and simple means of assessing taste function without the need for having the subject sipping, expectorating and rinsing his mouth between items and could test very discreet differences in taste.

Yeager sighed. "The ways you got him out of this 'zone' state before aren't working?"

"No. Usually pain stimulus was sufficient, but I'm not sure why it's not working now."

Yeager leaned over and noted the bruising on Ellison's jaw. "Maybe his sense of taste is more acute and thus he more easily became immersed in that one sense."

"I believe that's possible. While interesting... I don't know how we can make use of this ability."

Yeager nodded. "I'm sure it will prove valuable at some point. But we do need him conscious, don't you agree, Dr. Kortran?"

The doctor sighed in agreement. "I suppose we must call in Mr. Sandburg."

"I'll inform Mr. Carpelli," Yeager nodded. He turned to leave, annoyed that his subject was proving so fragile. If the testing were so difficult for him, he wondered if he was going to be able to learn to do what he was required to so as to help Yeager in his coming mission.

Back in his office, he picked up his phone and called Nick Carpelli, letting him know that Sandburg's services were needed with the sentinel.

*****


At the sound of the lock in his door, Blair looked up. He had been moved to more comfortable quarters a week ago, a room with furnishings: a bed, books, tv and computer and it's own adjoining bathroom. But he was still a prisoner, locked in, only seeing someone, usually Carpelli, when his meals were delivered. And the tv wasn't connected to cable or network. He had some dvds and video tapes to watch, but hadn't seen any news broadcasts or anything else that would let him know their location or what was happening in Cascade. The computer didn't have an internet connection but he at least could write and play some games to pass the time.

And he hadn't seen Jim. It had been almost two weeks now. That was the worst part.

The door opened, and as Blair expected, Carpelli entered the room. He didn't have a meal tray with him, however. Blair glanced at the clock on his computer screen. It was three-thirty in the afternoon.

"What's up?" he asked.

Carpelli smiled laconically and leaned back against the locked door. "Well, it looks like Doctor Kortran and Mr. Yeager have decided they need you, Sandburg." He looked pleased about his announcement.

Blair was on his feet at once. "What's wrong with Jim?"

Carpelli shrugged. "I'm not sure. Yeager didn't go into detail. Something about them not being able to get him to respond..."

"He won't respond? You mean he's zoned?"

"Whatever. Yeager sounded pissed."

"I knew this would happen. They should have had me there the whole time." Blair walked toward Carpelli, ready and anxious to be taken to Jim. "Well, let's go," he said when Carpelli made no move to open the door.

"There's no rush," the man said, pressing a hand to Blair's chest. "We can take a few minutes." He smiled as though he had something secret on his mind.

"No we can't," Blair corrected. "You said he was unresponsive. He needs me. Yeager sent for me so -- "

"You like it in this room a lot better than the other one, don't you, Sandburg?" Carpelli looked around the quarters. "You've got books, entertainment, a nice bed to sleep in. Even your own private bathroom."

"Yeah. It's great." Blair swallowed. "I said thank you when you moved me in here. I know you asked Yeager to let me have a better room."

"Yeah, you said thanks," Carpelli went on. "But I think you really didn't show your gratitude quite enough."

"I'm grateful," Blair answered, putting more sincerity into his voice. He was, but he was still being held against his will so it was a bit difficult to sound totally happy about the situation.

"And every day you bug me about seeing 'Jim'." Carpelli emphasized the name, sneering as he said it. "It's what you most want in the whole world."

"Yeah... " Blair wasn't sure where Carpelli was heading.

"So, if you really want to see Jim," Carpelli began, moving forward, "I think you ought to show me how thankful you really are to me."

"Uh... Yeager is the one who sent for me," Blair equivocated, still not sure what Carpelli meant.

"And I have the power to take you to him." Carpelli was in the center of the room now. "I could tell Yeager you're refusing, you know."

"Why would I do that?"

Carpelli shrugged. "How should I know? Maybe Yeager will think you're just trying to be stubborn, or get more out of him. He might decide he needs to use the belt to persuade you to help him out with Ellison."

"No... " Blair shook his head, the memory of being shocked by the belt still an effective deterrent. "I'll go. I'll help them with Jim."

"But you'll do something for me, first, won't you?" Carpelli smiled, taking a seat at the foot of Blair's bed.

"What?"Blair asked, trying not to look nervous. "I... I don't have anything to give you. I don't have access to any money or... "

"I don't want money." Carpelli leaned back, resting his weight on his hands. "Come over here. I don't bite."

Swallowing hard, Blair approached him. Carpelli reached out, his fingers coming to rest on Blair's mouth.

"You do have something I want," he said softly.

Blair cleared his throat. "Uh... I don't... "

"Don't give me that." Despite the words, Carpelli's voice stayed at a low murmur, nearly sounding seductive. "You know what I want. I've been looking at that mouth of yours long enough."

Blair felt sweat breaking out on his back and under his arms. He shook his head, almost before he realized he was making the motion. "No, I don't... I'm not going to do that."

"How come?" Carpelli asked. "Are you tryin' to tell me you don't swing that way?"

"Uh... "

"'Uh,' what?" Carpelli laughed and leaned back again. "You only swing that way with Jim, is that it?"

"Man, you're under the totally wrong impression here," Blair said finally.

"I don't think so. Maybe Yeager hasn't figured it out, but i have. You talk about Jim all the time, you worry about him, you need and he needs you... you're pining away in here for him. Don't you think I haven't figured it out?"

"He's my Sentinel," Blair insisted. "I'm his guide, man. That's what I was talking about."

"Yeah right. Don't try to sell me that crap."

"It's true," Blair said stubbornly.

"Whatever. I really don't care which it is. You tell yourself whatever you need to. But I still want you to thank me -- properly," Carpelli finished, his provocative smile once again in place. "If you want to see Ellison, you're going to 'thank' me first. You owe me, for the room and for how 'nice' I've been."

"Does Yeager know you're in here bargaining with me?" Blair asked. "I'm sure he's more interested in how soon you get me to where Jim is and probably wouldn't like knowing one of his lackey's is not following orders so fast."

"You tell Yeager and your life will go to hell faster than you can say 'sentinel'." Carpelli's eyes went hard. "I'm no lackey, Mr. College Degree. Unless you want me to have to beat you up first, you're going to do what I want and say nothing to anyone about it. It's going to be our little secret. I can make your days go smooth or I can make them as rough as I'd like them to be, remember that."

"I don't have to do what you want -- "

"Oh yes, you do. You have no power here, little man. You want to see Ellison. You don't want Yeager pissed off at you. You don't want me pissed off at you. Time's wasting. So get over here. Get on your knees and get busy." He reached forward, grabbing Blair behind his neck and shoved him to the floor. Then, the man unzippped his jeans and leaned back. "Do it. And you'd better make it good."

Blair hesitated, feeling sick. It was degrading enough being held prisoner, but this... God, what could he do now? He couldn't refuse. Carpelli had all the control, all the power. Jim needed him. Delaying could put Jim in worse shape than he was probably in already. That was more important than Carpelli's threat of having the belt used on him.

"Time's wasting," Carpelli repeated, his voice silky and malevolent. "Jim needs you." He pulled Blair toward his groin. "Get busy."

I can do this, Blair told himself. Just don't think. Get it over with. It won't kill me. Shutting down his feelings, he opened his mouth.

Carpelli's dick was big, half hard already. Blair tried not to compare it to Jim's as he began licking and sucking it, only wanting to get the task over with as quickly as possible. All too soon, Carpelli had it shoved down Blair's throat, gagging him, making him take the whole thing. He sucked as best he could, using his hands to help the process, trying to tune out Carpelli's husky moans and groans as he worked. In a few moments, it was over. Carpelli shot down Blair's throat, holding his head in place, fingers tight at his jaw to make him swallow.

Finally, he let Blair pull back. Carpelli smiled lazily, looking satisfied, his hand still holding the back of Blair's neck. A separate part of Blair's brain catalogued the expression, relieved that he had been able to do what Carpelli demanded, refusing to acknowledge the sickness he felt inside. He had been forced to give a blow job. He had touched another man sexually -- a man who wasn't Jim. Blair wanted to throw up.

"I... I want to go clean up," he husked out, the part of him that still clung to whatever dignity he had left refusing to ask Carpelli's permission.

"Sure, kid." Carpelli let go of his neck and leaned back on the bed.

Blair wasted no time getting up off his knees. He went to the bathroom and shut the door, washing his face quickly and then brushing his teeth, rinsing his mouth repeatedly. He wished he had some mouthwash, but they hadn't brought him any. Knowing he'd better hurry, thinking how Jim must be needing him, he opened the door and exited the bathroom. He'd managed not to look at his reflection the whole time.

Carpelli had zipped up and was standing by the door once again. He met Blair's eyes went he re-entered the room, giving him a conspiratory smile. "You ready to go see Ellison now?" he asked, all business now.

"Take me to him." Blair's voice was rough but expressionless. He was intent on getting to Jim, shoving what Carpelli had made him to into the background, knowing he had to help Jim. His personal problems didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was Jim.

*****


Simon Banks re-read the paperwork for the fourth time, then reached for his desk phone. "Connor, get in here," he ordered when his call was picked up. "And bring Rafe and Brown."

"Right there, Captain," Connor agreed.

In a moment, the detectives entered Banks' office. "What is it, sir?" asked Connor, standing in front of Simon's desk.

"I've finally gotten the rest of the autopsy reports," Simon began.

"Oh," Brown said, looking not too pleased. He'd taken the news of Blair and Jim's deaths pretty hard. "Was there... anything unexpected?"

Simon leaned back in his chair. "Well, I'd say so. According to these DNA reports, the two bodies found at the loft aren't Jim and Blair." Even saying it out loud, Simon still felt the shock.

"What?" Megan nearly shrieked. "Not Jim and Blair? You mean, they aren't dead?"

"Oh, my God," Rafe blurted. "That's great news, Simon!"

"You think so, Rafe?" Simon asked acerbically.

Rafe looked startled. "Well, yeah. Isn't it?"

"Only so far as it goes," Megan responded. "We know they weren't the victims found at the loft, but we still don't know what's happened to them."

"Oh, right." Rafe looked chastened. "But still... it's better than what we thought before. It means Blair didn't kill himself. Doesn't it?"

"I'm fairly certain that's true," Simon answered him. "And I think it's safe to say that the e-mail suicide note wasn't willingly written. Taken along with the fact that we know there was no way he could get back and forth between Cascade and New York in the time frame to murder Sid Graham, I think we can all agree that he was forced to write that note."

"So, where are he and Jim then?" Brown asked, looking as though he was afraid to hope they were actually still alive.

"We don't know. I'm putting the three of you on the investigation. I want you to go over every scrap of material from the loft, I want you to identify who those bodies do belong to, I want to find out who took Jim and Blair and where they've taken them."

Rafe and Brown were out of their seats before Simon had finished speaking. "We're on it, Captain."

As they left the office, Simon turned to Connor. "Have you had any luck in locating Naomi yet?"

"No, Captain," Megan sighed. "I've tried everything. All I could find out was that she checked out of her hotel here in town the day of the fire. I've been completely unable to get a location on her."

"Blair's talked about how she goes off for months at a time without letting him know where she'll be, but I still don't like it."

Megan nodded. "It could mean nothing unusual or it could be that the same people who took Jim and Blair had something to do with Naomi's disappearance as well."

"And evidence is going to be pretty slim from the loft," Simon added.

"If there's anything to learn, we'll find it," Megan assured him.

"I know." Simon pulled a cigar from his pocket, looked at it glumly and then stuck it back into his coat. "I wish I could feel better about knowing it wasn't them in the fire."

"Whoever is behind their disappearance was willing to go pretty far to make it look as though they were dead. They have certainly committed two murders -- whoever those poor blokes in the fire were -- and they've kidnapped Jim and Blair and possibly Ms. Sandburg. They managed to substitute the dental records of the dead men for Jim and Blair's records so I'd say they probably were pretty careful not to leave us much to go on."

"They aren't just any ordinary kidnappers," Simon said, meeting Megan's eyes. "You know that."

"You mean, they took Jim because of his sentinel abilities?" Megan sighed. "I'm afraid I agree with that, sir. But should we inform Detectives Rafe and Brown?"

"Not yet, Connor. If Jim had wanted them to know, he'd have told them himself. Let's see what the investigation turns up and if we need to tell them, we'll do it then." Megan nodded agreement. "Oh," Simon added, "let's not let any of this DNA information get into the papers. Whoever took them wants us to think they're dead. I think we should let them continue on that assumption. Keep a low profile on the investigation."

"Certainly, sir." Megan turned to leave. "I'll keep you informed."

"Thanks," Simon said, once more staring at the papers Dan Wolfe had sent him.

"Oh, and Captain," Megan began, "It is good news, of a sort. We know they weren't killed at the loft. There's a chance, since the perpetrators went to so much trouble to make it look as though they were killed in the fire, that their plan was only to kidnap them and prevent us from looking for them."

Simon took a deep breath. "I realize that. But what will they do with them once they... once they get from Jim what they took him for?"

Megan didn't have an answer for that.

continued in Part 7
warriors 6

World Without Love, part 5

Continued from Part 4

Alexander Yeager leaned back in his leather desk chair and switched on his computer monitor. He had cameras set up so that he could observe both Ellison and Sandburg.

Both men fairly stressed after what he had put them through since bringing them to the base in northern Canada. That, of course, had been his intention. He knew that gaining Ellison's cooperation wouldn't be easy. With the man's Ranger experience, he would resist normal tactics of persuasion. From the surveillance of their apartment, he had deduced that putting Sandburg in jeopardy would ensure Ellison's compliance.

Although he had been ninety-nine percent certain that Ellison was a sentinel, there had been the chance that what Sandburg had told the media was true. Thus, Yeager had devised the demonstration to force Ellison to prove his abilities existed.

In his youth, Yeager had read the book by Sir Richard Burton, The Sentinels of Paraguay, and had never forgotten the idea of a tribal protector who had special sensory abilities. As a grown man in his chosen profession of international terrorist for hire and thief, he had realized that a real sentinel would come in handy. When he heard the media furor beginning about Ellison being a sentinel, he had put plans into motion to acquire him.

He had brought together a group of men who had worked for him in the past: Sean O'Reilley and Patrick Flynn, former IRA members, Nick Carpelli who had once been connected to the mob in New York City and Victor Kortran, a medical doctor that Yeager had known since his days at University. Yeager himself had begun medical studies but dropped out when he found he could make more money as a soldier for hire. Now, at his base in northern Canada, he could take the time to first define the parameters of Ellison's sensory abilities and then train him to use his skills to help an operation that had already been in the planning stages when the news of the sentinel had broken. Eight months from now, Yeager hoped, his new man would be ready to join the team.

It was unfortunate that Sandburg had destroyed his original notes, but from what he had been able to glean from the full paper he had taken from Sid Graham's office computer, Sandburg had really nothing more than anecdotal findings, real world examples of Ellison using his abilities, facts and figures from very light testing -- apparently all that Ellison would permit. What Yeager needed, on the other hand, was precise data. He had no compunctions about forcing a subject to undergo more scientific testing through the use of medical devices. And he would do so without interference from Sandburg, Ellison's self-appointed protector and so-called "guide." Sandburg was valuable as an insurance policy as well as the only expert in sentinel knowledge, but Yeager was convinced the man's scholarly ethics had prevented him from learning the true extent of Ellison's abilities. Sandburg had that anthropological respect for his subject that Yeager found unnecessary.

He had read about a sentinel's instincts to protect his "tribe" but whereas Sandburg seemed convinced they were inherent in Ellison even as a present day sentinel, Yeager felt he could nevertheless mold Ellison into an operative who would work for his interests, rather than as a mere "honest" policeman. That was another reason he had begun by attempting to break down Ellison's defenses. He needed the man's mental cooperation as well as his physical non-resistance. Yeager would train Ellison to understand that the only comfort and slight freedom in the future would be have to be earned.

Yeager looked forward to the coming months. If he learned as much as he could about the physical and genetic makeup of a sentinel, there was a chance he could find others. And if he couldn't find more, perhaps he could make them.


*****


It was his worst nightmare come true. Jim Ellison had become a lab rat.

The armed guards escorted him from his cell to a room that resembled a medical examination room. They ordered him to strip and told him to climb up on a metal table. He complied, fighting down revulsion and terror as he was strapped naked to the table. Jim hadn't expected his reaction to the idea of entering a laboratory to be poked and prodded to be so profound. Yet he realized that that he should have known he would respond that way -- his fear of being labeled a freak was so deeply ingrained in him. He began trembling uncontrollably.

As the restraints were buckled at his ankles, the man Yeager had called Kortran entered the lab and walked up to him, staring down dispassionately at his subject.

Jim tried to will his body to stop shaking but it was no use. Kortran shook his head and raised his hand. He was holding a syringe.

"If you cannot lie still, I will administer this drug," he stated in a flat, emotionless tone of voice.

Jim took a deep breath, attempting to suppress his shaking, but he couldn't. He had never felt so out of control, betrayed by his body when he needed his strength and fortitude the most.

The needle bit into Jim's flesh and fire seemed to steal through his veins as the drug was injected. Within moments, he was immobile on the table. Still conscious, he could not resist Kortran's instruments as they began to measure and examine his body.

It felt like rape. Every inch of him was touched, measured, invaded. Kortran took tubes of blood. He swabbed the inside of Jim's mouth, obtained samples of his tears, urine and, turning him over, spinal fluid. He was given x-rays, CT scans, an MRI. More equipment was rolled into the room and he was tested again and again, no longer sure of exactly what they were doing to him. Hours passed and when the tests were completed, Jim was left alone in the exam room, still restrained on the table. Gradually, the drug wore off. He tried to rest, to compartmentalize the ordeal so that he would be ready for whatever was going to be done to him next.

He thought of Blair, worried about what was happening to him. He had tried to listen for him, to find him in the maze of rooms in the building, but he had not been able to locate his voice or his heartbeat. Either the place was well sound proofed or his senses weren't working when he needed them. If he could just hear Blair's heart, he could center himself, calm down, handle the tests.

Then, the sensory tests began.

*****


Blair was alone in the room again. He didn't know where Jim had been taken after the demonstration with the air tight barrels had forced him to admit to really being a sentinel. They'd been given breakfast, a surprisingly decent meal of eggs and coffee, and but the time together had been all too short. Then Jim had been taken away and Blair had been left alone to worry about what was happening to him.

If only Blair could find out more about who their captors were. He figured that they probably had heavy financial backing and high tech devices, and that, coupled with their obvious lack of morality and ruthlessness, made them formidable. Blair decided to take any chance he could to get to know the individual men holding them, to see if it might be possible to get them to divulge any information or tell him more about what they wanted with Jim. Not that it would be easy, but Blair knew one trait he possessed would work to his advantage -- his ability to talk.

Yet over the next several days, he didn't get a chance to use that skill. He was left on his own in the room -- he refused to call it a cell -- and none of the men guarding him would engage in conversation when he saw them briefly when they delivered clothes or food to him. They didn't respond when he thanked them, or asked about what the weather was like or worse, about Jim.

They took him out to the bathroom a couple of times a day and he'd been allowed to shower, but other than that, his time was spent in the ten by ten room without furniture. When he was taken to the bathroom, which was across the hall, he'd been escorted by two armed guards, so he had had no chance to find other rooms where they might be holding Jim.

He did talk to Jim, softly, worried about how much the sentinel might still want to keep hidden about his abilities, but Blair couldn't stop himself from trying to help him. Not knowing what was happening to Jim made him anxious and worried but when no one came to tell him that Jim was in trouble, he tried to look at that as a good sign. At least he probably wasn't zoned or otherwise not responding. Or so he tried to tell himself.

After three days of the solitary confinement, the frustration was getting to Blair. He was worried about Jim and not getting answers was making him crazy.

He paced the confines of his room, boredom and worry making him feel reckless. He started yelling at his unseen captors, knowing they were probably monitoring him and would hear his complaints.

"I've had it! This is stupid. I'm not staying in here while you do things to Jim. I want to see him, know what's going on! Let me out of here!"

He paced the room, pounding on the walls, throwing the mat he slept on around, tossing his food tray against the door. He searched for anything he could make noise with, or tear up and destroy, not caring if they wanted to punish him for his behavior, hoping they would come in to stop him.

They ignored him. So he kept up his tirade, yelling about wanting to be taken to Jim, demanding to know what they were doing to him, asking about his mother, about anything he could think of, in between cursing and berating his unseen captors for not listening to him.

When he got tired of yelling, he went back to talking to Jim. He whispered softly, trying to guide Jim from a distance, telling him he could handle anything they did to him. He hoped Jim could hear him. Maybe that had Jim in a room that was blocked by soundproofing or white noise generators. He didn't know if Jim could hear him or not, but he had to keep talking to him, to believe they were still connected.

For hours, continued to alternate talking to Jim with screaming at his captors, throwing things, beating against the walls and doors as hard as he could, as long as he could keep it up.

"I'm fucking bored to death in here," he shouted. "Are you trying to drive me crazy? I won't be able to help you with Ellison if I've lost my mind. Think about that, you bastards."

The door to his room opened and Nick Carpelli stepped inside. He closed the door behind him and leaned back against it, looking at Blair with disdain.

"Yeager told me to tell you if you don't shut up, they'll use that belt again," he said, sounding as if he didn't care one way or the other.

Blair's hands went to his waist. The hated belt was still in place, under his scrub shirt. It itched, rubbing against his skin when he moved, but over the last week he'd learned to put up with it, his concern for Jim overriding his fear of retaliation by their captors. He'd showered with it on, slept with it on. He tried his best to ignore it because if he looked at it or thought about it, it repulsed him, made him feel like caged animal.

But I guess that's what I am, he thought now, glaring at Carpelli.

He took a breath, consciously trying to calm down. "Look," he began, "I just want to know what they're doing to Jim. He could zone out, he could shut down his senses... I'm his guide, man. And his friend. I'm just worried about him."

Carpelli looked Blair up and down speculatively. "I'll bet you are."

Blair wasn't sure what to make of that statement, but he went on. "I am. And they know that, don't they? What's their game, Carpelli? They brought me along here. They know they're going to need me at some point. If I'm crazy from being in solitary confinement for weeks at a time, I won't be able to help them with Ellison when they need it." He was becoming upset again -- still -- and while he'd sounded calm when he'd started, he was breathing heavily when he finished. He was trying to present an argument that was logical, yet he couldn't help the pleading tone in his voice.

Carpelli met his eyes, his expression softening. Blair looked back at him, trying to convey his frustration without alienating the man. Carpelli was an American -- maybe he could be more easily reasoned with than the foreign Yeager and the others.

"Would you want to be held in a room like this?" Blair asked, gesturing at the empty area. "That mat is like three inches deep... it's like sleeping on concrete. And I'm not only worried about Jim, I'm bored. I'm a researcher, a scientist... couldn't they at least let me have some books to read to pass the time? Something?" He pushed his hair back from his face, trying his best to look non-threatening and deserving of some consideration.

Carpelli pushed himself off the door and approached him. "I guess it would get to me to be cooped up like this," he offered, gazing around at the empty space. He locked eyes with Blair again, looking less like a street hood and more like a regular guy. "I'll see what I can do."

Blair thought he'd collapse with relief at the kinder tone of voice. "That's all I ask, man."

Carpelli's eyes were dark, assessing. "No promises. I'm not the one in charge of this whole thing."

"I know that," Blair assured him. "But if they expect cooperation, they could at least treat us like human beings."

Carpelli nodded. "I'll see what I can do," he repeated. "So just take it easy for now, okay. You don't want to have them push the button that controls that belt, do you?"

"No. No, I don't want that," Blair agreed, suppressing a shudder.

"Good." Carpelli turned then and left the room. Blair heard the lock being turned, the sound he had come to hate whenever the guards left.

He sighed. At least Carpelli had come in to talk to him. That was progress of a sort. The threat of the belt was enough to make him consider not yelling for awhile, but he was secretly glad that his tactic had worked as much as it had -- they'd listened and whether or not they changed anything was almost secondary. He thought perhaps he was making some kind of connection with Carpelli. That was a start.

Tired from his hours of shouting and pacing and pounding on the walls, Blair put his mat back in the center of the room and sat down. He crossed his legs, rubbing at his thighs, trying to thoroughly calm himself. Maybe he could try to mediate for awhile. That might make the time pass more quickly.

continued in part 6

continued in Part 6
warriors 6

World Without Love, part 4

Continued from Part 3


Two days earlier...

Simon Banks stood outside 852 Prospect Street, feeling a sense of shock. Fire trucks, police cars and bystanders crowded the area. Smoke could be seen billowing out of third floor windows. He'd received a call after first responders had realized that one of his detectives from Major Crime's address was the location of the fire. While en route, he'd been advised that two bodies had been found in apartment 307.

"Captain?"

Simon turned to find Rafe standing in front of him. The young detective looked pale.

"Yeah?" Simon started to pull out a cigar, then thought better of it. "Tell me what's going on here."

Rafe sighed. "It's bad, Captain. Real bad."

"You want to be more specific?" Simon snapped, unable to resist the tension coursing through him any longer.

"The fire started in Ellison's loft. They think it was the gas line in the oven." Rafe paused.

"And...?"

"Well, they found one body by the stove. Another was upstairs in the bed."

"Could they be identified?" Simon felt his whole body begin to flush with heat. Fear and worry stabbed through him.

Rafe shook his head. "Too badly burned. But... Captain, it's pretty likely it's Jim and Blair."

Simon forcibly crushed down the sense of despair he felt rising. "We don't deal in 'likely,' Detective. Just because two bodies have been found in Ellison's home doesn't prove it's them."

"Yes, sir." Looking relieved, Rafe nodded.

"I'm going to go up and check things out," Simon told him. He couldn't just stand here on the street any longer. He had to see for himself.

He had to take the stairs, growing hot under the collar as he made his way up three flights. When he reached the third floor, the smell of smoke was more intense. Stepping into the corridor, Simon braced himself.

Firemen were still at work, apparently making sure that the blaze was completely out. He nodded at the man who stood at the door to number 307.

"I'm Captain Banks." He flashed his badge and the fireman nodded. "Is it... safe to go in there yet?"

"Yes, sir. The flooring is damaged but stable."

Simon took a deep breath, regretting it quickly due to the acrid smell in the air, but he needed it. He wasn't sure he really wanted to see the inside of Jim's loft yet, but he had a job to do.

The place looked devastated. Even to his eye, Simon could tell the loft was a total loss. The once pristine hard wood floor was scorched and blackened. The living room furniture and dining table all seemed destroyed. At least the walls were brick, but smoke had turned them black as well.

Glancing into the kitchen, he could see where the floor had been completely burned near the oven. One of the cops came up to him.

"Captain Banks," the man whose badge identified him as Officer Petrie said.

"What can you tell me?" Banks asked.

"The first body was found right over there, by the open oven door."

Simon swallowed. "Description?"

"It was pretty well completely charred but the M.E. said it was a male, about five feet five to five feet eight."

"Jesus... " Simon breathed. "And the second body?"

"That was upstairs. In the bed." Petrie turned to point toward the loft bedroom. "The mattress ignited and kind of... melted. The M.E. is still up there."

Simon gazed across the devastated loft. "Are the steps all right to use?"

"They seem to be. I'd be careful though," Petrie advised.

Simon stepped carefully as he made his way to the scorched steps that led up to Jim's bedroom. Pausing at the bottom, he knew he didn't want to go up and see what was up there, but he had to.

Gingerly mounting the stairs, Simon arrived in Jim's room. He hadn't been up there many times before and the idea that he was there now, for this reason, was daunting. A man in a mask and gloves turned from what remained of Ellison's bed.

Simon stayed where he was, just at the top of the steps. "What can you tell me, Doctor?"

"I'd say the victim was asleep when the fire started. Probably overcome by smoke and then burned as the fire progressed."

"Is there any way to identify...?" Coughing, Simon couldn't finish the question.

"Not by appearance." The doctor stepped back from the bed and pulled down his mask. Simon recognized him as Fred Wilson, one of Dan Wolf's assistants.

In his peripheral vision, Simon could make out the twisted, blackened body still there. One arm seemed to be raised, bent at the elbow, with the hand clenched grotesquely. Simon knew that the intense heat of a house fire often caused dead bodies to contort, but it was no less easy to think of Jim Ellison in this condition, as if he'd been reaching for help that didn't come in time.

"Preliminary examination shows the victim was probably at least six feet tall," Wilson added.

Simon ran a hand over his short hair. "Is there... anything to suggest that it's not -- "

"Ellison?" The doctor glanced back toward the bed. "Sorry. No, Captain."

"I want a thorough autopsy on both bodies. Dental records, DNA, the works."

"Yes, sir," Doctor Wilson replied. "But... "

"Doctor, this is a police officer's home. Ellison has the best record of any detective on the force. Do you have any idea of how many criminals he's put away? That might want to kill him?"

"I understand, sir," Wilson agreed. "But isn't that all the more reason to not suspect that this is anyone but Ellison?"

"And if it is," Simon snapped back, ignoring the man's question, "I still want every 't' crossed and every 'i' dotted. We owe the man that. Ellison didn't make assumptions when he was working a case and we aren't going to on this one."

Without waiting for an answer, Simon turned and descended the steps, needing to get out of the loft. It was beginning to hit him that Jim and Blair were dead. Although a part of him wanted to stay and oversee the scene of the fire, the rest of him couldn't stand the idea of his friends dying in this place. And there were other things he needed to be doing. People had to be notified... Jim's father... Naomi.

As he reached the bottom of the steps, he heard voices raised outside in the hall. Before he could get any closer to find out what was going on, Joel Taggert entered the loft.

"I told you, Officer," Taggert was saying, "I need to see Captain Banks now!"

"What's going on, Joel?" Simon asked walking up to him.

Taggert drew a breath and for the first time, looked around to see the fire damage. "Man... " he breathed. "This is... this is awful."

Nodding, Simon clasped Joel's shoulder. "What have you got for me?"

Taggert reached into his breast pocket, pulling out a sheet of paper. "This. I found it in my morning e-mail." He handed the sheet over.

Simon read:

"To everyone,

"I'm sorry about what happened. I'm a fraud and a liar. I did go to New York to kill Sid Graham, because he ruined my life. Now I can't live with the guilt. And I wouldn't have made a good cop because of it. Thanks for everything, especially to Darryl."

"Blair Sandburg"

For a moment, the note made no sense to Simon. He read it a second time, then looked up to meet Joel's eyes.

"It's... I guess it's a suicide note," Taggert said softly.

"God," Simon said. His eyes returned to the page. He had to agree, it did read like a suicide note. But...

"Do you think Blair really could kill someone?" Joel gasped. "Even this Sid Graham?"

Simon shook his head. The idea that Blair would commit murder, even over something as devastating as the mess with his dissertation, was unthinkable. Yet, if Blair Sandburg had been overwhelmed with anger and killed Graham, wouldn't he surely have been so guilt ridden that he'd... No...

It still didn't compute in Simon's mind. I'm a fraud and a liar. Why would Blair write that? Simon well knew, as Joel didn't, that Blair was anything but a fraud or a liar. Unless, even committing suicide, he didn't want to reveal Jim's secret.

Thanks for everything, especially to Darryl. What did that mean? To Simon's knowledge, Blair hadn't seen Darryl lately and he couldn't think of anything in particular that his son had done for Sandburg.

"Simon." Joel's worried voice broke into his thoughts. "Is... is Jim really... upstairs?"

Simon nodded. "Yeah. He was... in bed, apparently."

Then it struck him. Could there have been any reason at all that Sandburg would have thought Jim wasn't home when he... decided to put his head in the oven to kill himself? Wouldn't it have occurred to him that the gas fumes could also kill Jim?

A sick feeling started to spread in Simon's gut. Maybe that had been his plan -- to kill Jim too.

No, that was ridiculous. Yet, if Sandburg had lost it, really lost it and killed Graham, maybe... Simon had been a cop for over twenty years and he knew that no matter how stable a person might seem to friends and colleagues, anyone could commit a crime. He had to look at this as a cop, not as a friend. Had to do what he'd told countless detectives under his direction to do. He had to put his personal feelings aside, look at the evidence, and decide what happened from there.

"Blair sent this to you?" he asked Joel.

"Yes, but it was cc'ed to about a dozen others, you included," Taggert said.

"Sandburg sent out a suicide not by mass e-mail?"

Taggert's sad face said he could hardly believe it either.

Simon hadn't heard of such a thing, but many people communicated more by e-mail than they picked up the phone today, people like Sandburg. And maybe, if he were suicidal, if he had killed Graham, he might just have sent out a group e-mail to let people know. Sandburg might be more likely to send a suicide note via e-mail than he would have been to hand write one to be found near his body.

"This whole thing is just crazy," Simon fumed. He glanced toward the loft bedroom, noting that the body from upstairs was being brought down now. "Go back to the office, Joel. I want to stay here and follow the investigation. I'll call in soon."

"Yes, sir," Joel said, sighing deeply. He gazed around at the loft, shaking his head in disbelief. "I just can't... "

"I know. But stranger things have happened."

"Blair was the most honest person I've ever known," Joel continued. "I couldn't believe he was a fraud in the first place. And I can't believe he'd kill someone. Even in a moment of rage."

Simon turned back to him. "A moment of rage... " he repeated. He glanced back down at the e-mail transcript. I did go to New York to kill Sid Graham.... His eyes met Joel's. "A flight to New York takes a long time. That would give a lot of people a chance to think things over...."

"Or make them even more angry," Taggert finished. He looked as though he couldn't believe he had made the statement.

Simon had to agree. It was possible that Blair had had some kind of break down. He could have killed Graham, come back to Cascade, acted as though everything was all right and then, overwhelmed with guilt, killed himself. Perhaps he'd been under the influence and not even realized Jim had been upstairs in bed. Or was so thoroughly messed up psychologically that he... wanted to take Jim with him?

It was too much to figure out, not with his emotions swirling the way they were. Two of his best friends were dead and Simon knew that he shouldn't trust his feelings right now. Again, he determined to look at this like a cop, period. Get the facts and figure this out when he had all of them.

"I'll see you later," Joel said, his voice rough with emotion.

Simon nodded acknowledgment, his own throat too tight to speak.

continued in part 5
warriors 6

World Without Love, part 3

continued from Part 2

He was cold. The room in which he was being held was chilly and his naked skin was covered in goose bumps. His knee ached badly from the chill, seeping blood between the stitches. His eyes were stinging from fatigue and the dry air, burned by the lights that were never turned off. He thought it had been at least twenty-four hours since he'd awakened in the cell, but he couldn't be sure.

He was so tired. They hadn't let him sleep for more than ten minutes at a stretch. Whenever he did nod off, they replayed the recording of Blair screaming. Jim couldn't dial his hearing down to keep from hearing it, couldn't divorce himself from worrying about what they'd done to make Blair yell like that. He was given nothing to eat or drink and though Jim had been without food and water for longer periods, he was growing weak anyway.

He thought he could see Blair standing in front of him, but when he raised his hand and called his name, the vision disappeared and knew it had been a hallucination. No... He refused to believe he had started hallucinating. It had been his imagination. A dream. He wanted to dream of holding Blair in his arms... but instead his vision included Blair screaming, his blue eyes red from pain and desperation... no dream -- a nightmare.

Sometimes, Blair called to him, begging for Jim's help. He tried to hang on to the knowledge that he was only imagining that, but it didn't make it any easier to deal with. He wished they'd soon get tired of trying to soften him up and just go ahead and let him know what they wanted him for, but he knew he had no control over things now. But when he got his chance....

The abnormally loud sound of a bolt being pulled back, metallic clanking, woke him and Jim lifted his aching head, squinting against the light. He wasn't sure he'd really heard what sounded like the heavy cell door being unlocked, but when it began to slowly swing open, he struggled to sit up, all his muscles tensing in readiness. If he had to fight, he would fight. If he saw a chance to run, he would run. If he saw Blair... he hoped if he saw Blair it would be real.

The door opened but what he saw was not his partner.

It was the tough looking guy that had been at the loft. Jim searched his memory, more to gain focus than anything else. What had they called him? Car... Carpelli. He wore a military haircut, not unlike the buzz cut Jim himself had favored for years. Behind him, another man, the blond one... was it O'Reilly? He pushed past Carpelli and into the cell. Both of them were holding guns.

O'Reilly tossed something toward Jim that landed by his side. Glancing down, he saw that it was a pile of clothing, drab cotton that was khaki colored.

"Put those on," O'Reilly ordered, his voice sounded like it was straight out of working class Ireland. Jim wondered if he had been recruited because of IRA experience. To Jim, with his hearing still jacked up from listening to the recording of Blair's screams, the words were louder than they should be. It was all he could do not to flinch when the man spoke to him. He took a moment, trying to collect himself.

When he didn't move fast enough, Carpelli kicked him. "He said get dressed!" That voice boomed even louder and Jim struggled to dial his hearing down.

Jim reached out to touch the clothing. His hands shook but he tried to hide the reaction as he struggled into the pants and shirt that were cut like a set of scrubs. He preferred that description to the other one that came to mind; the clothes were like prison garments, right down to the pair of flip flops.

"Hold out your hands," O'Reilly ordered when he was dressed. He was brandishing a pair of handcuffs.

Jim complied, not wanting to risk both of their guns at the moment. He was exhausted and had no idea where Blair was so it wouldn't be wise to try to take the offensive at this point.

"Come on." Carpelli jerked his head toward the open door when the cuffs were fastened.

He took a step forward and his vision swam for a moment. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then reopened them and strode forward, determined not to show weakness in front of his captors.

They led him down a long hall, then turned to the right and proceeded down another about half way before stopping at a door. O'Reilly opened it and Carpelli pushed at Jim's back.

He entered after O'Reilly, with Carpelli bringing up the rear. The room held a large table with chairs arranged around it, conference style. At the head of the table was the man who'd introduced himself at the loft as Alexander Yeager. Behind him there was a projection screen. Seated to his left was the fourth man. Jim tried, but couldn't recall his name at the moment.

"Good morning, Detective Ellison," Yeager said without warmth. "Please come in and have a seat."

When Jim hesitated, Carpelli shoved him again. He took a few steps and grasped the back of a chair with his cuffed hands, pulling it out so he could be seated. He glared across the table at Yeager.

"Where's my partner?" he demanded, his voice gruff from dryness and fatigue.

"All in good time," Yeager pronounced. "I have a few questions for you first."

"You think I'll answer questions after the way you've treated us?" Jim managed to sound scornful.

"You will if you want to see Mr. Sandburg again." Yeager seemed to suppress a smile, lifting one eyebrow as he gazed at Jim appraisingly.

"What are you doing to him?" Jim was out of the chair before he realized he'd moved. He wanted nothing so much as to get his hands around Yeager's neck.

Hands grabbed his shoulders and shoved him back into his seat. He resisted automatically, but was hit on the side of his head with a fist that felt like iron. His senses swam and he fought to stay conscious.

"Nick," Yeager said reproachfully, "that isn't necessary."

After a moment, Jim straightened in his seat and looked directly at Yeager. "What have you done to my partner?" he repeated, keeping his voice low and composed.

"Mr. Sandburg is resting comfortably. You'll see him shortly." Yeager gave one of his chilly smiles. "But as I said, first we have a few questions for you."

Jim returned his gaze, keeping his expression neutral.
"That's better," Yeager nodded. "You will find your stay here to be much more pleasant if you cooperate."

"Yeah, it's been great so far," Jim returned sarcastically.

"Detective, you will learn that I have only so much patience." Yeager's voice deepened, becoming more menacing.

"What do you want?" Jim responded grudgingly.

"I want to know all about your Sentinel abilities." Yeager smiled again, as coldly as before.

"Sentinel abilities?" Jim shook his head. "Don't you know not to believe everything you read in the papers? That was a fabrication."

"By your friend, Mr. Sandburg?"

"Yes, what he wrote was a work of fiction. You've gone to a lot of trouble for nothing, gentlemen."

"Come now, Detective," Yeager said, "you don't really expect that you can convince us that you have no special sensory abilities, do you? We're not quite as gullible as the general public."

"Blair wrote a book. It was accidentally sent to a member of the press -- "

"The late Mr. Graham," Yeager interrupted.

Jim cleared his throat. "Yes. He unfortunately leaked it and the dissertation committee thought it was Blair's finished thesis paper. It all got out of hand."

"I've read it," Yeager responded. "And it has the ring of truth, Detective."

Jim shifted in his seat. He chose to ignore the implications of Yeager saying he had read Blair's book, knowing it had to be the brief version that Graham had leaked to the press. "He's a very good author."

"Obviously. But we believe that you do have sentinel abilities and would like to have you do some specialty work for us, work that as a sentinel, only you can accomplish."

"This 'work' wouldn't happen to be illegal, would it?" Jim asked.

"I wouldn't say that precisely," Yeager hedged. "But we do need help which only someone with your particular skills can provide."

"I'm sorry, but I don't have the skills you think I do." Jim knew that maintaining he wasn't a sentinel would only carry them so far, but he couldn't bring himself to capitulate just yet. He coughed, his throat dry from lack of water. He didn't want to let his exhaustion and weakness show, but it was difficult to talk. "You know, you haven't exactly shown me a lot of hospitality so far."

Yeager raised an eyebrow. He glanced toward O'Reilly, who poured a glass of water from a pitcher that was on a side table, and placed it in front of Jim.

It was all he could do to simply pick it up and drink casually instead of grabbing it and draining it in a rush. The water tasted wonderful and went a long way to making Jim feel better. He knew he needed to marshall his mind and his senses to deal with this man. If he lost control, it would all be over very fast. He sat the glass down when he'd finished half of the water and gazed at Yeager.

"Although both you and Mr. Sandburg have been denying it, we are aware you have special senses, Detective," Yeager said, his eyes staring hard into Jim's. "Your denial is like some kind of game to you. You can do things no ordinary man can do, see things regular men can't see, hear things they can't hear. But you pretend and pretend, denying what you are." He paused, glancing down to smooth his silk necktie, then looked back up at Jim, pinning him like a specimen with his gaze.

Jim clenched his jaw. "You're wrong," he ground out, still unwilling to admit the truth. Yeager had no proof, he was only speculating on what Jim could do.

"It's time to stop pretending, Detective Ellison. To help you make up your mind, I've arranged for you to give us a small demonstration."

Yeager picked up a remote control on the table in front of him and the screen on the wall flickered to life.

It showed Blair, dressed in the same scrub type clothing as Jim. He was bent over, curled into a ball, his hair tangled and obscuring his face. Wherever he was, it looked dark and cramped.

Jim's whole body flushed, his reaction to seeing Blair again more visceral than he could have imagined.

As Jim watched, Blair raised his head. His eyes were wide and his pupils looked dilated. His face was covered with a sheen of sweat and damp tendrils of hair stuck to his forehead. He bit his lip, looking stressed, frightened.

Jim clenched his fists, concern and anger sweeping him. "Where is he?"

"He's outside in one of the other buildings," Yeager answered, seeming amused by Jim's obvious anger. "We'll be going out there to find him in just a moment."

He picked up a cell phone from the table and pressed a button. "Victor?" he said when someone responded.

Jim listened, keeping his expression neutral, though he could easily hear the other party speaking.

"He's all set, Mr. Yeager," came the voice. The man speaking sounded older and had a vaguely foreign accent Jim couldn't identify.

"Good. We're watching on the monitor. Close the container, will you?" Yeager directed.

"Very good, sir." the man named Victor said.

Yeager hung up from the call and turned to gaze at the monitor. At the same time, both Carpelli and O'Reilly moved to grip Jim's shoulders, assuring that he couldn't get up from his seat.

While they watched, the camera seemed to back up from its tight focus on Blair. As more of his location came into view, Jim could see that he was in some kind of big tube, bent over to accommodate its size. A round cover appeared, being moved into place.

"Hey, you guys," Blair began speaking, his hands reaching up as if to try to ward off the covering of his enclosure. "Don't... please... I'm claustrophobic."

His pleas were ignored. The cover was placed over the tube and bolts were turned, securing it. Jim couldn't tell what kind of a device or container it was, but he knew Blair was scared. Jim was worried -- seeing what they were doing was almost worse than only hearing Blair's screams the night before.

"What the fuck -- ?" he began.

"We should go now," Yeager said. "Mr. Sandburg won't have much time." He stood and O'Reilly and Carpelli pulled Jim from the chair, shoving him toward the door.

They held onto his arms as they walked down the hall to an outside door. Jim didn't struggle. If they were taking him to Blair, he wanted to go.

Yet he was concerned. What had they put him in? It was difficult to tell exactly what was happening on the screen -- and what had Yeager meant when he said Blair wouldn't have much time? Jim flexed his hands as he walked, trying to see how much strength he still had in them. Could he overpower these men? He wasn't sure, but he knew that if he had the slightest chance, he was going to try.

They emerged from the building and Jim's suspicion that they had traveled pretty far north was confirmed. It was cold outside and frost made the grass stiff and white. He shivered involuntarily; dressed only in the light scrubs, he got cold quickly. The others, clothed in heavier fabrics and wearing jackets, boots and, presumably, underwear, didn't seem as affected by the chilly air.

They walked for about twenty yards, through a stand of trees, and then came upon another building. It was built of steel and looked like it was a modular construction, one that could have been erected quickly. There were two men standing on either side of the door to the building, armed with automatic rifles. Jim realized that even if he could overpower the men holding him, he wouldn't be able to get past the armed guards to rescue Blair.

One of the guards opened the door, then stood aside. O'Reilly and Carpelli shoved Jim and the group entered.

Jim was surprised when they got inside -- the place held only rows and rows of steel containers. Hundreds of barrels, most of them black but some white or red, lined the walls and reached toward the ceiling thirty feet above them. It was freezing inside the building, probably because it was constructed of metal and there was no heat. Only a few bare bulbs illuminated the space. There were two more guards and another man, all wearing coats with fur lined hoods, standing around.

barrels



"Good morning, Doctor Yeager," the tall, older man greeted.

"Victor," Yeager smiled. "I trust everything is going according to plan."

"Indeed, sir. Everything is in its proper place."

"Excellent." Yeager's smile broadened.

Jim was looking around, already getting an idea of what Yeager was doing.

"You saw Mr. Sandburg on the screen," Yeager said, watching Jim closely. "He was being placed into one of these steel drums, Detective. The drum was sealed, as you observed. While we were walking to this building, Mr. Sandburg's drum was placed somewhere amongst the rest... we'd like you to find him for us." Yeager paused. "Oh, I nearly forgot to mention -- the drums are air tight. Mr. Sandburg probably only has a few minutes of oxygen left."

Jim regarded him coldly. "You bastard... " he muttered. "What -- you think I'll be able to find him before his air runs out? How am I supposed to do that?" He forced his voice to be steady. "They all look alike. How am I going to find Blair?" He was only partly acting. Exhausted as he was, he wasn't at all sure his senses would work well enough for him to find -- and save -- Blair.

"He's breathing inside one of the drums, Detective. His heart is beating. I should think locating him would be simple exercise... for you." Yeager's meaning was obvious.

Jim scowled. They were going to force him to find Blair by using his senses, thus acknowledging to them that he was, indeed, a sentinel. He couldn't refuse. Blair's life was at stake.

If he had conceded he was a sentinel from the first, Blair's life wouldn't be in danger now, but there was no time to regret that decision now.

Then, quiet words came to his ears, so soft he knew that he was the only one capable of hearing them.

"Jim... you must be in here by now... Jim, can you hear me?"

Blair... whispering to him from the barrel. At first the words were hard to catch, somewhat garbled. Jim wasn't immediately sure from which direction they were coming. He closed his eyes, but his exhaustion and the sensory distress produced by the replaying of Blair's screams made control difficult.

"I'm sure you can hear me, man. Listen, don't let them know, okay? Don't react."

Jim closed his eyes, drawn to that voice as he always had been.

"Jim, don't do what they want. I mean it. Don't find me. I don't want you to do it. I want them to let you go."

How many times had he focused on that voice, followed it out of a zone, let it help him control and use his senses? How many times had he done exactly what Blair said?

"If you don't find me, they'll believe you're not a sentinel. So don't do it. If you find me, they'll win. I want you to get out of this. Do you hear me, Jim?"

"Detective," Yeager said. "We're waiting. Mr. Sandburg is waiting." He nodded to Carpelli, who produced keys to Jim's handcuffs and unlocked them.

Jim moved. He started walking toward the rows of barrels, listening intently. The words Blair was saying didn't matter, hearing them had given Jim focus, told him where to start searching when his abused senses had been all over the map. Blair was still whispering, entreating him not to find him -- but for once Jim had no intention of doing what his guide said. Blair was right; if Jim found him they'd know Jim was a sentinel. If Jim didn't find Blair in time, the person he loved most in the world would be dead.

Call him a coward, but he couldn't allow his guide -- his lover -- to die, just to keep from revealing he was a sentinel. He would never be able to live with the guilt. What would be the point, anyway? They obviously were convinced that Jim was a sentinel and had set up the situation to force him to acknowledge that he was. Certainly, if Blair were dead, he wouldn't care what happened to him. But whatever these men wanted him to do, Jim didn't want to face it without Blair.

"Don't find me, Jim... it's okay. I don't blame you. I want you to do this. I want you to let me go. They'll release you if they believe you're not a sentinel..."

Was Blair insane? Let him die? Just to keep up the pretense of Jim being normal?

"I can't..." he muttered aloud, walking between rows of identical steel drums.

Following him, watching his every move, Yeager responded to Jim's words. "You can't what? Hear him? Try a bit harder, Detective."

The building was made of steel. So were the drums. Blair's words were echoing.

"I can't... there's too much echo in here," Jim grated, turning to glare at Yeager. He pointed at the men following them. "Get them out of here."

"I don't think..."

"You want to deal with me if Sandburg ends up dead?" Jim demanded.

"If Mr. Sandburg dies, the fault will be yours," Yeager said, his eyes glinting in challenge.

"I didn't put him in an air tight steel drum," Jim countered. "I didn't kidnap him. I didn't make him yell like you did..." He turned to take a step in Yeager's direction, his clenched hands coming up.

"Don't waste time," Yeager advised, showing no fear that Jim would try to attack him. "If you try to fight, you know what will happen to your friend."

"Do I?" Jim challenged. "Maybe these barrels aren't air tight after all."

"Oh, they are," the man called Victor chimed in. "They're used for toxic waste. I sealed the one Sandburg is in myself."

"Do you really want to take the chance we're lying?" Yeager added.

"He can't do it," Carpelli scoffed, rolling his eyes. "I told you guys, it's not possible."

"Shut up, Nick," O'Reilly said.

"All of you, shut the fuck up!" Jim shouted. "If you want me to do this, shut up and get out of here!"

Yeager regarded him with narrowed eyes, appraisingly. "Nick, Sean, Victor," he said, "do what he asks. Take the guards too."

"But -- " Carpelli protested.

"I can handle him," Yeager answered. "It's okay. Go."

The sounds of their footsteps covered Blair's whispers but Jim ignored them, satisfied they were leaving the building. He spared no thought to the idea that the odds were moving in his and Blair's favor -- the important thing now was to find him.

He listened harder, trying to detect the exact location. Up higher... yes... toward the right. He kept moving, knowing Yeager was right behind him. That didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was Blair. He focused, tuning out the echoes, Yeager's heartbeat and breath sounds.

He could hear Blair's heartbeat... faintly, beating fast. He was scared, running out of air, dying. He wasn't talking now... probably couldn't spare the oxygen.

Jim strained to hear, trying to find him. Up there... near the ceiling. He climbed up onto the barrels, and Blair's heartbeat got louder.

Yeager stayed on the ground level, and that helped. Jim paused, listening.

"I'm coming," he said it softly, knowing Blair wouldn't hear but needing to put voice to his conviction.

He climbed. Up three levels now, the drums creaking and shifting under he weight. He ignored the unstable nature of the stacked drums, completely focused on his goal. Closer... up there....

"Jim... no... don't... it's okay... I meant it..." Apparently hearing his approach, Blair spoke again, still trying to dissuade Jim from locating him. Jim loved him more than he had thought it was possible to love another human being.

He was near the top now. Four barrels were between him and the far right wall of the building. Jim concentrated and he knew. Blair was in the third one.

He was gasping for air, running out of time.

Jim moved swiftly, pulling himself up to the same level, stepping without caution over to the drum in which Blair was imprisoned. He grasped the cover, noting the shiny silver clamps that held it on.

"How the fuck do I get this open?" he demanded of Yeager.

"You don't need a tool," Yeager said. "Just twist the clamps off."

Jim was shaking, sweat dripping into his eyes, making it hard to focus his vision. His hands were trembling. He cursed under his breath and managed to get the first clamp off, throwing it aside. Quickly, he managed to yank off the other two, then began prying the lid off.

At last it yielded. He lifted it, shoving it aside. "Blair...?" he gasped anxiously, leaning in to look.

"Jim!" Blair dragged in a huge breath. His eyes were wide and reddened, his hair soaked with sweat. He reached up.

Jim reached down, his fingers sliding down to feel the pulse in Blair's wrist. It was fast but steady. "Oh, God..." Jim gasped, pulling him up.

Blair was in his arms then, trembling, holding him. His fist pounded against Jim's shoulder. "I t-told you... not to find me," he gasped, still sucking in air.

"So sue me," Jim muttered, wrapping him close. "You really think I'd let you die like that?"

"Didn't want... them to... know," Blair panted.

"It's okay," Jim reassured him. "You're okay... " He felt breathless himself. Blair could have died. He didn't think he could have survived that. They were still in trouble, but he was holding Blair. He didn't want to let go.

"Very touching." Yeager's voice broke in. "How did you manage to locate Mr. Sandburg, Detective? Was it by hearing his heartbeat? Hearing him breathe?"

Jim turned to glare at the man. "Okay, I'm a sentinel. You were right. Satisfied?"

Yeager raised an eyebrow. "Quite. You see, there was really no reason to keep denying what you are. Now climb down from there. We have a lot to talk about."

Blair met Jim's eyes. "Any chance we can make a break for it?" he whispered, his eyes already saying he knew the answer.

"They're armed," Jim whispered back. "They have at least four guards waiting outside this building and probably all over the place. And I have no idea where we are."

"Just thought I'd ask." Blair stood up, squaring his shoulders and brushing his hair back from his face.

Jim could no longer hold back the question he most wanted to ask. "What did they do to you? I heard... screaming."

Blair heaved a sigh and glanced away. Jim placed a hand gently on his shoulder. "Blair?"

Blair turned back, his expression rueful. He glanced down, his hand indicating the belt Jim hadn't noticed before.

The sentinel touched it, turning his guide around to find the lock that was secured at the middle of his back. "No... " he began, outrage rendering him nearly unable to speak.

"It's locked on," Blair told him. "They... have a remote control that shocks -- "

Jim turned to Yeager, who was still watching them from the level of the floor. "What did you to do to him?" he demanded, wanting to get to the man and take him apart piece by piece.

"Detective," Yeager responded mildly, "I'd appreciate it if you'd modify your tone. You're in no position to be asking me questions."

"Oh yes, I am," Jim contradicted. "You've kidnapped us, brought us God knows where and tortured us. I think I deserve an answer and my tone is going to get a lot worse if I don't get one."

Yeager raised an eyebrow but otherwise appeared unfazed by Jim's tirade. "Very well," he offered at last. "Come down from there first. Then I'll explain."

Jim looked at Blair who shrugged. "We can't stand up here all day," Blair said morosely. "I'm okay, Jim. Really."

"Right. So am I. Feel like I've been on vacation," Jim murmured as he began helping Blair to climb down the stack of barrels.

He watched Blair's movements and noted he seemed stiff and sore. If what he suspected was true, he knew his partner had to be hurting pretty badly.

"Well?" Jim demanded when they were at floor level and eye to eye with Yeager once more.

"It's a security belt," Yeager said, confirming Jim's suspicion. "It emits a not inconsiderable shock when activated." He pulled a control from his pocket and, at Jim's side, Blair blanched.

Jim looked Yeager in the eyes. "Don't you dare... " he warned menacingly.

"You know, I'd almost like to see what you'd do if I did," Yeager responded, a sneering smile on his lips. He returned the control to his pocket. "Don't worry, Detective. We only used it once."

Jim took a step closer to him. "That was once too many times." His hands were clenching and unclenching at his sides, fighting the primal urge to kill the man who'd dared to hurt his guide.

"I'm okay, Jim," Blair spoke up. He touched Jim's arm, and Ellison drew in a breath, once again able to focus on just Yeager.

"I know what those things can do," he said to Blair. "There's no such thing as a little dose of it." He turned back to Yeager. "Why did you do that to him?"

"We recorded Mr. Sandburg's... response." Yeager appeared to be suppressing a smile.

"I heard it." Jim wanted to smash the man's face in with his fist and record Yeager's response to that.

"I think it was very effective," Yeager went on, unimpressed by Jim's glare and threatening manner. "We know how you feel about Mr. Sandburg. You care deeply for him. He is your friend, your partner. Your 'guide'. That is the correct term, is it not?"

"It's one way to describe it," Blair answered this time. "I suppose you've read my paper... "

"We know that the guide becomes very important to the sentinel," Yeager nodded. "We felt that the best way to procure Detective Ellison's cooperation was to... shall we say... threaten you, Mr. Sandburg. And we were obviously correct." He stood there, appraising them smugly.

"So you got me to perform for you," Jim snapped. "What now?"

"We intend to elaborate on Mr. Sandburg's studies," Yeager explained. "We will do more extensive scientific testing, followed up by training to hone your abilities. I think you will eventually surpass anything you've ever dreamed of doing with your senses."

It was the thing Jim had always feared most -- becoming a lab rat for some pseudo-scientist. But he allowed his face to reveal no reaction to Yeager's comment.

Before he could say anything, however, Blair spoke up. "If you understood anything at all that I wrote, you would know that when someone's forcing Jim against his will, his senses don't work predictably. And when he's upset... " Blair faltered, looked at Jim. "I mean, if you want someone to do something for you, treating them like a prisoner isn't the way to get their cooperation."

"Mr. Sandburg," Yeager grinned, looking bemused, "your verbal abilities are wonderful." He chuckled but didn't say anything more. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a cell phone and hit a key. "Sean? Yes, it's all over. Detective Ellison found Mr. Sandburg. You and the others are welcome to return."

In moments, the others were back inside, along with guards who held weapons ready and pointed at Jim and Blair. Jim wanted to fight, to try to find a means to escape, but their captors had thought things through too well. After the many hours of being held and deprived of rest in the cell, with the constant repetition of Blair's recorded screams, he was exhausted. If an opportunity had presented itself, he would have tried to make the most of it; Ranger training had prepared him to fight no matter how depleted he was. Yet it wasn't just himself he had to worry about. They had put that damned belt on Blair and if they ran all they would have to do was activate it to incapacitate him. Jim couldn't take that chance. The screams were too fresh in his memory.

"Let us adjourn to better quarters, shall we?" Yeager asked momentarily. He glanced at his watch. "It's nearly eleven, I'm sure you gentlemen would appreciate some breakfast."

"What, now you're going to treat us like guests?" Jim snorted.

Yeager didn't respond; instead he started to walk toward the entrance to the building. Carpelli shoved Blair from behind to get him moving and the group headed outside.

Jim looked up at the sky. It was overcast and cold. He figured they were deep into Canada, many miles distant from friends and colleagues who must by now have discovered the bodies left at the loft and thought he and Blair were dead. Had they found Naomi too, he wondered?

He glanced at Blair, who met his eyes, trying to look brave, but Jim could see how shaken he was. He had to protect his guide from now on, until they could regain their strength and get away. It was up to him to make sure Blair wasn't hurt any more, that he didn't learn yet that his mother was most likely dead back in Cascade.

He ruthlessly fought down the anger and desperation that throbbed through him while they walked. It would do no good to let it control his actions now. He had to become unemotional, keep his mind clear, get to know their captors and plan a way to escape. He reached out, his hand going to the small of Blair's back in reassurance. It wasn't much, but from the look on Blair's face, it helped.

continued in Part 4
warriors 6

World Without Love, part 2

continued from Part 1

Blair paced the small room they'd locked him in, uncomfortable with the wide leather belt tight around his middle. It was locked on and he'd been unable to figure out how to open it. They'd put it on him last night, after making him get dressed in the hospital-style scrubs they'd given him. When he asked what the belt's purpose was, they had demonstrated.

It was the most excruciating pain Blair Sandburg had ever felt. Sheer, horrifying agony arched through his body as though someone had connected him to a live wire. Torment radiated in all directions, both up and down his body, the belt somehow shocking his entire system, while pounding hardest into his kidneys, his stomach, his back and ribs.

He'd fallen down -- no way could he stand up with that kind of pain buffeting him. He'd rolled across the floor, limbs jerking uncontrollably. And he'd screamed. He couldn't even think about how loud he was yelling, why they were doing this to him, how weak he sounded. He realized only later that he was soaking wet and that the moisture wasn't just sweat. His collapse had been complete; his bladder hadn't been able to hold its contents with that horrible shock searing his insides. His legs and arms trembled with the aftershocks and he ached all over, knowing he'd pulled some muscles.

When it was over, they had tossed him a clean pair of scrub pants and he'd pulled them on with shaking hands. Embarrassed, humiliated and angry, he'd just sat on the floor where he was, refusing to look up at the faces of his captors, not wanting to give them the satisfaction of knowing how badly they had hurt him.

"Thank you, Mister Sandburg," a heavy German accent had finally spoken.

Blair did look up then, finding the impassive face of the man who had introduced himself as Alexander Yeager looking down at him. He was still dressed impeccably, in another expensive suit, his neat goatee and cold eyes looking at Blair as though he were nothing more than a stray dog.

"For what?" He meant the words to hold scorn and disapproval, but to his own ears, they sounded feeble and breathless.

"We have recorded your reaction to the security belt," Yeager said. "Thus it will not be necessary for us to show you how it feels again."

"So take it off me then," Blair demanded, gratified that his voice sounded a bit stronger this time.

"No, we need it for now. We cannot trust that you will not try to escape... or to find Detective Ellison," he was told.

"Where is he?" Blair asked. He'd been asking that question since he'd regained consciousness but nobody had answered him. Then the words the man had said sank in and he asked a second question. "Why did you record me?" He was certain he knew, but the idea was so awful he hoped he was wrong.

"You have an excellent intuition, Professor," Yeager told him, his eyes twinkling with what apparently passed for amusement with this man. "Use it and you will know."

With that, he and the others turned and left Blair alone in the cell-like room. He rubbed a hand over his damp face, shoving his hair back behind his ears, wishing he had a hair tie to get it up off his neck. He thought about what Yeager had told him, knowing deep in his gut that his first thought had probably been correct. They had recorded his reaction to the shock to play back for Jim.

God, what would that do to him? Blair knew that under normal circumstances, Jim would be able to tell the difference between a recording and sound that was occurring naturally, but he didn't know what kind of shape Jim was in at the moment. He didn't know what they might have done to him, what the drug they'd been exposed to in the van could have done to his senses.

If he didn't understand that it was a recording when he heard it, what would Jim do? Go berserk hearing Blair scream like that? Try to tear their captors apart?

Will they play it to get him to cooperate, threatening to hurt me again if he doesn't?

Blair rubbed his aching, watery eyes. He felt sick to his stomach, partly from the shock he'd received, but partly from his worry for Jim. He knew Jim was strong and physical pain was something he could handle if he had to, but with his senses, he was vulnerable. And Blair knew that the reason they had been kidnapped was because of Jim's senses.

Shakily, Blair got up from the floor and paced the confines of the room in which he was confined. It wasn't small, but contained no furniture. A mat covered the floor, like ones used in a gym. It was about six feet square and the room itself was probably ten feet by ten feet. Blair supposed it was good there had been nothing for him to fall into while he was contorting and rolling all over the place when they'd shocked him with the belt, but he would have preferred to have someplace to sit or lie down other than the floor. It was demeaning, depressing. He knew the men who had taken them prisoner were doing these things to get past his defenses, but understanding that didn't make it any easier to handle. Already, feelings of desperation were growing in Blair's heart and gut. At least Jim had training to deal with this kind of thing, Blair thought, trying to take comfort from that knowledge, although he still worried about his friend... his lover. Sadly, he thought of last night -- or was it two nights ago now? -- and the love they had made in Jim's bed. Would they ever be together that way again?

Stop being so maudlin, he told himself sternly. I have to believe that we're going to get out of this. He tried to be brave, positive, to trust in Jim's abilities. Yet it was difficult. He was scared.

So far, he really knew very little about the men who had taken them or what they wanted from Jim. Were they with the government? Though Blair didn't think so, given their differing accents, he was hardly comforted by the idea that they were foreign. Were they spies? Terrorists? Mercenaries? Diabolical scientists? However ludicrous that last possibility was, none of the alternatives were any more appealing.

He thought about Naomi, worrying about what the men might have done to her after taking them out of the loft. His mother was fearless, Blair knew, but her bravery could get her into trouble. He didn't trust that Yeager and his men would really let her go. Not after they'd made him write that suicide e-mail and send it. Not after they'd brought those dead bodies into the loft.

Jim's loft... The idea of it being destroyed by fire was so awful, Blair didn't know whether to curse or cry. All their things, the beautiful wood floors, the plants on the balcony, Jim's good cooking pots and utensils... what a waste.

He tried to picture Simon and the guys from Major Crime going over the place, finding those bodies, thinking he and Jim were dead...

They'd never fall for it, he told himself. They were smarter than that. Nobody would believe he'd been suicidal, that he'd burn down the loft trying to kill himself with gas from the stove -- would they?

If they did, would believe that he and Jim were dead, never suspecting they'd been taken against their wills, that Yeager and his men were holding them in... where were they...? If so, they were on their own and they'd have to get themselves out of this situation.

Somehow.

Blair got up, pacing across the room, wincing with every step, but realizing that if he sat still, he would probably stiffen up and movement would be that much more difficult later. He was certain he'd pulled muscles in his thighs and calves. His back felt like it had been wrenched and his stomach ached like he'd been rammed by a bull.

God, that was awful, he thought, rubbing his middle, trying to get his fingers under the wide leather that was locked tight around him. The thing disgusted him, made him feel like some piece of property, owned by these men who'd taken them from their home. He couldn't get his fingers very far under the damned belt. What if he had an itch? he wondered, trying to find something even slightly amusing in the situation. But instead, he felt nothing but grimness, disgust and fear.

He wished there were windows. If he could see outside, he might be able to gauge the time, the location -- obviously their captors didn't want him to be able to do that. Was it night, or morning? Daytime or afternoon? Was it raining or sunny?

And most of all, where was Jim?

continued in Part 3
warriors 6

World Without Love, part 1

Last Dance title


"World Without Love" is the second part of the "Last Dance" series. Part 1 can be found at http://asr3.slashzone.org/archive/viewstory.php?sid=457&textsize=0&chapter=2


"All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible."

— Seven Pillars of Wisdom, Lawrence of Arabia



Jim Ellison ached all over. He was huddled in a brightly lit cell, his eyes closed against unrelenting white light. He sat on the rough concrete floor, in the corner of the unfurnished room. They'd taken his clothes before putting him in the cell, even the bandage that had been on his knee, and his skin was cold and irritated from the feel of the concrete. It had been hours.

Hours since they had been kidnapped from the loft, since Blair had been forced to write a suicide note to explain their disappearance. Hours since Jim had heard the shot that must have killed Naomi. Hours in the stuffy, dark van that had carried them here, someplace in Canada most likely. Hours since they'd tried, one last time, to escape when the van had crossed the border.

They'd been ready to make a break when the van had stopped, having managed to get loose from the duct tape that had bound their wrists and ankles. They'd hoped to get the door open, or at least make some noise as they passed through the border, so as to attract attention.

They never got the chance. Jim had heard a slight hiss and realized a gas was being sprayed into the compartment. Both he and Blair had passed out before they could attempt to escape. The last thing Jim had seen before falling into blackness had been Blair's wide, frightened eyes.

Hours later, Jim had regained consciousness, but not in the van. He had awakened in the cell, alone. He had no idea where Blair was. Though he strained to hear, nothing gave any suggestion as to where they were or where Blair had been taken. The room was empty, a cell of approximately six feet by four feet, with a twelve or so foot ceiling. Jim couldn't reach the fluorescent light source that glared above him. He could also see a vent in the ceiling and he figured that he was being monitored by camera and microphone via that vent, though he had been unable to hear any sounds to confirm that idea. The cell seemed to be fairly soundproofed, but Jim assumed that if they wanted him to hear anything, it could be transmitted via whatever technology was behind the vent. The gas that had knocked him out in the van hadn't left him with any ill effects and though his head ached and had some bruises from the beating at the loft, he judged his own condition to be fair.


He knew what was going on. They were trying to disorient him by taking him out of his familiar environment, removing his clothes and leaving him alone in the cold, bright cell. Whatever comforts that might be eventually offered would come from them and he would accept them, allowing them to have that much more control over him, making him need their benevolence. Sleep deprivation was probably on the agenda as well, Jim surmised. He had no way to really gauge the passage of time, but he felt certain that at least five or six hours had passed since he had come to. He figured they would keep him here in the silent, brightly lit cell for a long time before doing something.

He'd been trained to deal with such tactics, though he had never had to face them with his enhanced senses, which he now realized could be both a help and a hindrance. Still, he had resources he could turn to in this situation. He worried that their captors' methods would have their desired effect on Blair, but at the moment, he had no way to help his partner.

Just then, as he thought of Blair, where he might be and what could be happening to him, a sound cut into Jim's hearing, a scream that sounded as though it were being ripped from a man's soul under extreme torture.

Jim came to his feet as it blasted through him, every nerve seared with the electric pain of the shriek.

It was Blair.

The scream came again, sharper, louder, more agonized.

Jim threw himself against the locked metal door in his cell.

He'd tried that door when he'd first regained consciousness and found it securely locked. He'd discovered no way to get it open, though he'd tried for a long time, and then decided to just wait his captors out. Now, regardless of the knowledge that he couldn't open the door, he pounded on it, slamming his body against it in a savage attempt to escape and get to his friend. He couldn't have remained dispassionate, waiting for his captors' next move, not while that scream blasted through his hearing.

What were they doing to Blair? Why were they hurting him?

The scream came again, cutting into Jim's heart and mind, and again he flung himself against the immovable door, his fingers struggling to find a narrow crack he could pull against. The screams coming from Blair seemed to rip into his flesh, the feeling so real he half expected to see welts rising on his skin.

"Blair!" he yelled out, panic roughening his voice. "Blair! I'm here! Blair!" There was no response.

"You bastards!" he shouted. "Stop hurting him! Stop it, stop it now!"

It was impossible to think with the continuing sound of Blair's screams. Every instinct that he possessed demanded that he get to and help his his guide. His body became drenched in sweat, fingers and shoulders bruised and bloodied as he struggled against the unyielding door. He didn't feel the pain he caused his hands and could barely see. Only his hearing worked, painfully cranked to its highest, Jim was unable and unwilling to dial down -- he was desperate to hear Blair's cries, trying to ascertain where he was and what they were doing to him.

Neither Blair nor his captors answered him. Jim wasn't even sure his voice or his pounding on the door could be heard. He had never felt more impotent.

And then the screams stopped. "Blair! Are you all right? Blair, answer me!" Jim shouted, nearly as terrified by the silence as he'd been by the screams of torment.

Breathing heavily, Jim stopped hitting the door and tried to calm down. He was confused, and the emptiness left by the sudden silence was in its way more terrifying than the sound of Blair's screams.

For probably ten long minutes, he heard absolutely nothing but the sounds of his own heartbeat and breathing. He tried to open his hearing as far as he could, to locate Blair's heart beat, to hear him breathing, but he couldn't. Had Blair passed out? Had they stopped hurting him, taken him somewhere else? Killed him?

The he heard Blair shriek again. Just as loud. Just as primal. "No.... " The word was torn from Jim's soul but he wasn't sure if he'd screamed or whispered it.

Shuddering each time he heard Blair scream in agony, Jim backed up until he collided with the back wall of the cell. He no longer struggled with the door or shouted for Blair, yet his body flinched in response to every scream Blair uttered. They must be torturing him, brutally hurting Blair... god, they were going to kill him. He was in so much pain....

He felt himself beginning to zone as he concentrated so deeply on the sounds. The universe had dwindled down to consist only of Blair's agony and Jim would follow it until it ended.

Finally, once again, the screams stopped, cut off as though Blair had been forcibly silenced. Jim remained where he was, leaning against the wall, body shuddering, his entire focus on listening for Blair's voice. He could barely breathe.

Then, once more, Blair's voice erupted in a terrified, pain-laced scream.

Jim gasped, his mind and body filled with anguish. His hands balled into fists and he pounded them against the rough wall, hoping the pain would help him think, to figure out how he could help Blair.

And then he realized what was happening. The screams... they were the same as before. Just as loud, just as terrified. Nobody could scream like that throughout a torture session, not in... identical screams. It was a recording. A recording....

Blair had been made to scream, but they weren't still abusing him, over and over again. They must have hurt him, to get him to yell that way at first, but they'd recorded it, to play over and over for Jim, to torment him with the sound of his friend's pain.

Knowing that the screams were being replayed did little to ease the anguish of hearing them. Jim tried to turn down his hearing but it was difficult. He'd trained himself to listen to any sound Blair made, his heartbeat, his breathing and yes, any sound of him in pain. He couldn't shut out the screams, even knowing they had been recorded, that his captors were probably watching his every reaction, learning how much he cared about Blair through his responses.

Shaking with emotion and adrenaline, he wrapped his arms around himself and slid down the wall, ending up on his knees. Jim realized that his face was wet. He brought up shaking fingers, noting the blood smearing his hands as he wiped at his streaming eyes. He felt weak with despair and worry.

They must have hurt Blair badly to get him to yell like that; what had they done to him? Had they even given him any medical assistance after...? His worry was joined by anger, though he was too wrung out to let it do more than simmer within him. Jim knew he would kill them if he got the chance for doing anything to harm Sandburg.

He winced, the sound of Blair's voice just as painful as it had been the first time, like salt poured into a gaping wound. Jim was exhausted, but the repetitive screams would not let him rest.

Yes, sleep deprivation was definitely on the agenda. They would probably keep playing Blair's screams all night long -- or was it daytime? -- and Jim knew that he would never be able to sleep as long as he could hear them. He tried to keep track of how many times they stopped and started again, counting in the silence as he waited, the only way he had to get any handle on how much time was passing.

He leaned in the corner of the cell, the rough concrete against his back, his knees pulled up and his arms wrapped around them. His head throbbed, his body trembled. Knowing that they were attempting to confound and disturb him did nothing to prevent being confounded and disturbed. But he wouldn't show his emotions anymore. He knew they'd hurt Blair but they had only recorded his screams. That gave Jim the small hope that at least Blair was still alive, hurt but not dying. He had to hang on, pull himself together. He might not be able to tune out the screams, but he could stop reacting to them.

It was difficult. All his instincts demanded he break out of the cell and get to his guide. Did his captors understand a sentinel's need to protect his guide? Or were they just evaluating Jim's feelings for his friend and roommate?

He couldn't think, couldn't reason, not with Blair's screams in the forefront of his consciousness. All he could do was hang on to his sanity and be ready when the next phase of the situation was presented to him.

After what must have been hours, in one of the silences, Jim's exhaustion won out. His head sank onto his knees and his eyes closed. His body dropped into a sleep he desperately needed.

He was wrenched awake again by the recorded screams. His body felt stiff from having been in a folded position for so long. His nerves were raw, his senses still on overload. He'd probably only been sleeping for ten minutes or so. He attempted to move, and his back protested, his stomach cramped. His skin felt scraped and bruised all over. He could barely straighten his legs or flex his hands. His throat was parched and his head pounded. He was so weakened he couldn't dial down the pain, and his vision was barely working.

Gingerly, Jim leaned over until he was lying down, though the rough cement floor scraped his sensitized skin. He felt cold and drew his knees up to his chest, trying to conserve warmth. God, he was tired. Blair's recorded screams continued, battering him over and over, torture as surely as if his captors were wielding whips.

continued in Part 2

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